December 2008 Archives

So here we are entering the last week of the season and I'm almost at the summit!

 

After weeks of trailing by a half a game or so I have finally pulled into first place.

 

Standings:

Jason

Miami 10-5
Chicago 9-6
19-11

 

Ryan

Atlanta 10-5       

Philly 8-6-1
18-11-1


Randie

Baltimore 10-5
Houston 7-8
17-13

Lenny

Oakland 4-11
St. Louis 2-13
6-24

 

So if the Dolphins and the Bears play like they really want the playoffs and take care of business against the Jets and Texans I will be Overlord in my first season in the bet!  Ryan can claim the crown if one of my teams slips up and his Falcons and Eagles win.  The Eagles have an especially difficult task of defeating the Cowboys who still can make the playoffs with a win.  Randie can shock the world and still pass us both if both my teams and Ryan's lose, and his Texans and Ravens win.  The tiebreaker between the two of us would then be total points.  Randie's teams currently have 693 and mine have 672.  Lenny, well, he can take advantage of this December sale.....

 

And where's that guest write-up you have been promising?

 

In other news, when I found out that Shawn was at last week's Patriots game and then later heard that a drunken fan ran onto the sidelines to administer a love-tackle to his favorite player, Junior Seau, I could help but think that he might have been involved. 

 

 

Anyone heard from him?

No no there is in fact a week 14 write up Mr. Fear. Sorry to disappoint the twelve (albeit loyal) readers last week. I thought I won the write up but lost it on points to Ryan. So I sat around all week waiting to be dazzled only to be disappointed. Fast forward a week to an email saying sorry for last week, I was too busy. So that's like 3 red flags for Ryan, 1.5 for Jason (you only get half credit for your first one) and 1 for me. Lenny's the only one not in the penalty but then again he's only won one week this year and has three write ups in the past three years or something like that. I called Sven out a couple of weeks ago asking him to dazzle us with his special brand of baggage but apparently he also is too busy. So we're all too busy. Did FShawn know something we didn't? Poor Boe Boe got bombarded with write ups last year and still managed to deliver the goods despite taking time away from planning his takeover of the world. Grrrr. I promised myself not to turn this into a bag-bashing.

So what's going on this week? Fucking Arizona clinched? What the? I guess it helps when the rest of your division has a .231 winning percentage. I'm so proud of those guys. They're in the GB Ring of shame for having participated for so many years and now they get to the playoffs. Been a long time coming. Speaking of Ring of Shame, I for one am pulling for the Lions to go winless. How fucked up is the world when you're so desperate you have to pull the 40 out of Culpepper's firm grip and throw him behind center? Anyway I hate the fact that the Bucs are the only team to do it and hope the Lions set a new standard in futility this year.
In other sporting news, Yanks get Sabathia. Haha. Sorry we're filthy loaded. Actually I'm not sorry. Awesome comment by a sportswriter saying the 7 year $160M deal is roughly the GDP of Madagascar. Apparently they're not done yet either. Go Yankees! Oh yeah I made the playoffs in 2 out of the three fantasy leagues I play in. Of course I came in dead last with two wins in that league (the biggest $$$ league) but whatever. Contrary to popular belief, it's not about the Benjamins. It's about the trophy plaque. It's about talking smack! Realistically it's about dumb luck. You never know who is going to step up and each year it's someone new. Matt Forte? Michael Turner? They came out of nowhere. I was "that guy" who took Brady in the first round. I know others who pinned similar hopes to the LTs of the league. Most of the top 10 RBs right now were 2nd and 3rd rounders or more. So yeah, dumb fucking luck, just glad it's going my way. Good luck to all in your fantasy playoffs unless of course, you're playing me.


Standings:

Ryan

Philly 7-5-1
Atlanta 8-5
15-10-1

Jason

Miami 8-5
Chicago 7-6
15-11

Randie

Baltimore 9-4
Houston 6-7
15-11

Lenny

Oakland 3-10
St. Louis 2-11
5-21


Holy shitballs. Three way tie in wins for first place. Figures. Last year I rock the Fish and end up in the bag. This year had I had a bit more faith I'd be all alone in first. Fucking shameful!  Speaking of which, fucking Sven's on the verge yet again of an other bag record... this one for least wins in a season which I think is 8.  Poor little fellow. He hasn't had much bag success since the inaugural season and has been Paint Facing for a living. His NFL record ain't great but he has his beloved Gators, which is nice. The football gods simply won't let our newbie slackers win this thing. I've gone 2-0 in three consecutive weeks to catch up to the others. There's no stopping me, I will be the Overlord once again. I will pick out fantastic bars, once again. I will actually have a plan of action that doesn't include some frat-boy sports bar. I will make Lenny puke in shades of turquoise blue and if I was really cool I'd figure out a way to throw some orange in there. Rock on, Blue Hawaiians and Screwdrivers all night long for Len.  Someone has to keep this thing respectable ya know.

Piper High School Football.

As many can remember I often make references to team playing so bad they could be beaten by the Piper High Bengals. Well Piper is the high school attended by Marica, Lenny and yours truly as well as many other people you don't know. I played football there for four years... three on the Varsity. We were horrible. Absolutely pathetic. The only winning season was my sophomore year where we went 7-3 and lost in districts. I was a little second string WR then... mostly blocking because we ran the power H option which meant little or no passing. The highlight of that season was going into Pompano Beach and beating Ely High 7-0 in the rain. Again, a little factoid for you ballers: Ely has the second most players to go on to play in the NFL. The first is some crappy Poly-something school in Cali. So yeah we were terrible but we played in a tough county that produced players like Issac Bruce, Asante Samuel, Eric Rhett, all of the Blades Brothers, Chris Gamble, Michael Irving, Lorenzo White, Dan Morgan and of course Brian Piccolo. Couple that with the fact that Piper sits in sunny Sunrise, FL which is was mainly comprised of retirees and transplanted jewish families so yeah, not a lot of football prowess in that bunch. In my senior year we went 0-10. Not a single W. So now you all know!  Let's try it. Boe Boe's team is worse than Piper High. The 1990 Benglas could have wholloped the Wankers. There, now it makes sense!

Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!
Here we go Dolphins here we go!

Happy Footballing!

R



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Here we go Dolphins here we go!  (Clap Clap)