Whatever plans you had... cancel them! F - the beach, F-LI, F Upstate. Come to the LES tomorrow at 6pm and help ring in the new football season by making fun of Shawn and Lenny. Once again we're starting at Loreley so come by and get your Brat on!

LORELEY
7 Rivington Street
New York, NY 10002
Cross Street: Between Bowery & Chrystie
Directions: F,V to 2nd Avenue - J,M,Z to Bowery - R,W to Prince Street

Saturday August 4th
6:00 PM

Come laugh at us! Oh and bring a friend or two!

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 2:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Now you know the place!

LORELEY
7 Rivington Street
New York, NY 10002
Cross Street: Between Bowery & Chrystie
Directions: F,V to 2nd Avenue - J,M,Z to Bowery - R,W to Prince Street

Saturday August 4th
6:00 PM

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 5:11 PM | Permalink

That's right. It's payoff time. Mark your calendars for the pub crawl of the Century!

See! Lenny and his great Hefty Dilemma!

See! Shawn the Mawg!

See! Jojo and his magical Bags of Wonder!!!

Saturday August 4th, 2007

Details to follow.

Your Friendly Neighborhood 2 Time Reigning Champion Overlord.

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 10:10 AM | Permalink

Joe wins the write-up this week on points. We've got a real dogfight on our hands in the battle for the Overlord spot. I've clinched the bag, amid no fanfare and even less suspense.

The only thing that remains for me to hope for is one, just one single write-up for this season. Oh, and I'd also like to avoid setting the record for losses in a season... not that there's much chance of avoiding that at this point.

Hey, at least my college team is good.

Posted by Lenny at 9:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

San Francisco's 20-14 victory over the Seahawks stopped what would have been an unprecedented O - for bag weekend for us all. I'm pretty sure this has never happened in my career and I'm too lazy to go back and look at the previous seasons' results. It's a shame because I was going to petition for a rule that whenever all our bag teams go O fer, then whoever's teams allowed the most combined points on said weekend has to streak at least 3 blocks on the night of the payoff or something befitting the standards of this league. Pittsburgh did their job vs. The Browns but Seattle doesn't get this blog. Oh well, one can only wish. So it's Turkey with Joe Joe. Wanker wanker (that's gobble gobble in wendler)

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

You'll get two wins, but I'll get two too
Jets beat the Lions but the Cardinals blew
So while you're writing up the weekly recap
Remember how close you are to the cinch-sack

The gunshot sounds, the games begin
Even when my teams are good I still can't win
Although the Texans didn't let me down
For me the Dolphins make that crinkly sound

[Chorus]

The battle heats up, quickly three are tied
The next week's bag games will push one aside
And as we race towards the season's apex
We feel the drawstrings tighten around our necks

We hurdle bag teams from past bets gone by
And yet some of them refuse to die
The Raiders, long gone like Chris Simms' spleen
Hey, at least they won't go 0-16

[Chorus]

Soon the end will come and one will reign
Yet another will feel the chafing pain
A third will take "Carry the Rock" to whole new levels
While the last endures endless chants of "Go Devils!"

And me I must avoid the dubious fate
Of being the first loser to not make eight
For as I lay forgotten and alone
I'm left to wonder For Whom the Bag Will Toll?

Posted by Lenny at 3:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

you've got to keep running the course! Lenny
you've got to keep running and win at all costs! Lenny

Herr Herold's horrendous start to the season hasn't gotten him down. He goes 2-0 for the first (and probably the only) time this year and loses the write up on points! Interesting weekend (and I'm not talking about Berto's bludgeoning at the hands of Horner). I went 2-0 and vault into first place with 8 wins. As I turn to look at who's on my heels, Lenny's 2 wins puts him a game behind the Joe and Shawn. Everyone's within 2 games of each other with nearly half the season gone so nothing's set at all!

Run on and on!
RUN ON AND ON.

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Has anyone ever sought fame.... in a garbage bag?

My name has been featured prominently in half of the season's postings, and I have a pathetic (and soon-to-be record-breaking) 1 win. Throw the records out - because to BE the bull o' da woods, you have to BEAT the bull o' da woods. WHOOOO!!!!

Clearly I have DOMINATED sports entertainment.... in a BIG way.

Posted by Lenny at 12:57 AM | Permalink

I'm drinkin',
My 3rd Jameson shot
When Dave and I begin to whine

Reflecting
On another shitty week
And a Raider loss, for the umpteenth time

'Cause at 7 o'clock
I walked out of Bar Coastal in disgust... yeah
The tomb of plastic, around me, continues to grow

Joe-Joe's spanking slow..... yeah, yeah yeah!

Joe rocks his second write-up of the year, and takes full control of the competitiion. On the strength of a last-minute Saints triumph, Shawn leads by two lengths in the battle against face paint with Randie. Me, I still haven't even figured out where to rip the pee-hole.

Expect our resident #44 to deliver a doozy in the next day or so.

Posted by Lenny at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

2 - 0 and LOTS of points for the GREENbergs this weekend. The way things are looking, points are going to be a big factor this year. This vaults me to 3-3 and with Saints win tonight there'd be a 3 way tie for first place. The Skins ruptured Lenny's spleen early on Sunday and continued his 5 oclock march to the gallows pole.

Look for the week 3 write up coming soon.

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Packers, Texans swap backs: Gado for Morency
Associated Press

GREEN BAY, Wis. -- The Green Bay Packers traded running back Samkon Gado to the Houston Texans on Wednesday for another young running back, Vernand Morency.

The trade is pending both players passing physicals with their new team.

The Texans have been looking for reinforcements at running back since Domanick Davis, the franchise's leading rusher, was placed on the injured reserve two weeks ago. Houston claimed 1999 Heisman Trophy Winner Ron Dayne off waivers after he was released by Denver last week.

Coach Gary Kubiak said he made the trade for Gado because he wanted to add a big, power runner to his duo of smallish running backs -- rookies Wali Lundy and Chris Taylor.

Taylor, who has been on the active roster, is currently on the practice squad.

"We feel like it gives us two big, banging-type backs and we've got two younger smaller backs in Wali and Chris," Kubiak said. "We like the way that evens out and we hope he can help us."

Houston's running game struggled in a 24-10 opening loss to Philadelphia where the running backs gained just 55 yards. Morency had five carries for 13 yards.

Gado, in his second-season, was one of the few bright spots in the Packers' 4-12 season last year, advancing from the practice squad to become the team's starting running back near the end of the season. But Gado has struggled to adjust to the zone-blocking scheme being run by new Packers coach Mike McCarthy -- interesting to note since Kubiak employs a similar scheme.

Season-ending injuries to running backs Ahman Green and Najeh Davenport gave Gado, who started just two games in four seasons at Division I-AA Liberty University, an improbable chance to start for the Packers last year.

In eight games, including five starts, he gained 582 yards on 143 carries and scored six touchdowns.

Kubiak said Gado would be valuable in short-yardage situations, but Texans general manager Rick Smith said he thinks he could do even more.

"I think he's already proven that he can be an every-down back," Smith said. "He's a kid that is a power type of back with good speed and balance and agility. So to put him in this offense will be an asset for us."

Morency was a third-round pick in 2005 after running for 1,454 yards and 12 touchdowns in his last season at Oklahoma State. He's a bit older than most second-year players at age 26, having played four seasons of minor league baseball before enrolling at Oklahoma State.

He had 46 carries for 184 yards with two touchdowns in 13 games last season.

Kubiak wasn't too fond of his running style when he arrived in Houston and encouraged him to cut to the hole quicker instead of "dancing" in the backfield. He noted Morency's improvement in that area and praised him after he ran for 95 yards and two scores in a preseason win over St. Louis.

With the trade, Gado will be reunited with former Packers coach Mike Sherman, who was hired as an assistant head coach and offensive line coach for the Texans after he was fired by the Packers.

"We've got coaches on our staff who know this player very well," Kubiak said. "We feel good about this kid's chances of helping us."

Gado also brought an infectious sense of optimism into an otherwise downtrodden locker room. Gado, who worked at a Green Bay hospital in the offseason, hopes to become a doctor after his football career is over and return to his native Nigeria to help fight the AIDS crisis in Africa.

Gado was in the middle of an interview session in the Packers locker room on Wednesday when running backs coach Edgar Bennett summoned him to a private meeting.

Gado had just been asked whether the Packers could recover from a 26-0 defeat by the Chicago Bears in their season opener at Lambeau Field on Sunday.

"The season's not over yet," Gado said. "It's just beginning. And we got off on the wrong foot, and I think it's just foolhardy to just go ahead and throw the whole season out."

Gado should arrive in Houston early Thursday and is expected to available for Sunday's game at Indianapolis.

Morency was informed of the trade about 10 minutes before Houston's afternoon practice, Kubiak said.

Posted by Lenny at 12:29 PM | Permalink

Wow - talk about popping your cherry! Unless tha Raidissssssssss score 45 points tonight (yeah right), Joe will secure the inaugural write-up of the season. I'm going to try to get the standings and scoreboard prettied up tonight in preparation for this monumentous occasion. Joe, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that I'll be eagerly awaiting this first taste of your mad write-up skillz. Don't disappoint us!

Posted by Lenny at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

We shall go on to the end of the season.
We shall fight in Philly,
We shall fight on the Tundras and Meadowlands,
We shall fight with GROWING confidence and GROWING strength in the Bay Area.
We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be.
We shall fight on the bayou, we shall fight in the dawg pound,
We shall fight in the fields and in the streets.
We shall fight in H-town,
We shall never surrender!

-Sir Winston Overlord

As this year's Overlord, it is my pleasure to welcome you to another season of Garbage! It's a new year with some new blood. Green Bay, Philly and New Orleans will enjoy their inaugural season. Additionally Joe Wendler joins the ranks of the basement patrol. Colin will provide the color commentating this year so look for his not so weekly installment of Colin All Cocks! This year's theme, in case you haven't surmised, is Iron Maiden. There will be many Eddie sightings throughout the season. The site is nearly there and is a perpetual work in progress by myself and (mostly) Herr Leonard.

It's week 1 of the NFL season and not a moment too soon. For those who missed the payoff, here are the results of the draft:

Randie - NY Jets, Green Bay Packers

Lenny - Oakland Raiders, Houston Texans

Shawn - New Orleans Saints, Cleveland Browns

Joe - Philadelphia Eagles, San Francisco 49ers

Any early season predictions? With the exception of Joe's Eagles, the rest of the pool is horrible. Shawn's guaranteed a split in week 1 as New Orleans travels to Cleveland. The only other bag game puts Joe Joe's Eagles at Sven's Texans. Here's the bag schedule:

New Orleans at Cleveland 1:00 p.m.
N.Y. Jets at Tennessee 1:00 p.m.
Philadelphia at Houston 1:00 p.m.
Chicago at Green Bay 4:15 p.m.
San Francisco at Arizona 4:15 p.m.
San Diego at Oakland 10:15 p.m.

Is it me or is it totally weird having 2 monday night games? Whatever. Peace out baglovers!

Let the baggage begin!

Randie

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 6:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Receiving-depleted Eagles get Stallworth from Saints

Updated: Aug. 28, 2006, 5:17 PM ET
Receiving-depleted Eagles get Stallworth from Saints
ESPN.com news services

He filled in well for Joe Horn in New Orleans, so the Eagles are hoping Donte' Stallworth can fill some big shoes in Philadelphia.

On Monday, the Eagles acquired the veteran wide receiver from the Saints for a conditional fourth-round draft pick in 2007 and linebacker Mark Simoneau. The trade is pending both players passing physicals with their new teams.

Stallworth caught a career-high 70 passes last season for 945 yards and seven touchdowns. The Saints' top receiver, Horn, missed a number of games with a hamstring injury, forcing New Orleans to look for alternatives. Stallworth stepped up, but with the return of Horn and the arrival of Saints first-round pick Reggie Bush -- who is expected to get plenty of touches -- the five-year veteran out of Tennessee became expendable.

He'll be counted on for plenty in Philadelphia, which has been searching for a reliable receiver since Terrell Owens was broke his leg last December. In the offseason, the controversial Owens was moved, ending up in Dallas. The Eagles' depth chart lists Todd Pinkston, who missed all of 2005 with a torn Achilles, and second-year player Reggie Brown as the starting wide receivers.

Simoneau is a seven-year veteran out of Kansas State.

Information from the Associated Press was used in this report.

Posted by Lenny at 5:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Plain offensive
Brooks, Raiders struggling to move ball in preseason

Posted: Tuesday August 15, 2006 10:28PM; Updated: Tuesday August 15, 2006 10:49PM

ALAMEDA, Calif. (AP) -- Randy Moss is complaining, the offense is stagnating and Aaron Brooks has been unable to move the ball.

With the season opener less than four weeks away, the Oakland Raiders are searching for answers at quarterback.

Brooks, signed as a free agent in the offseason to replace Kerry Collins, has looked more like the struggling quarterback who was benched in New Orleans last season than the big-play passer he used to be.

"We need better production out of the quarterback position overall," coach Art Shell said Tuesday. "It's not just Aaron. We need better production out of everybody. I think Aaron would be the first to tell you that he's not satisfied with his production at all. He needs to get better and I hope he will get better."

In two exhibition games, Brooks, Andrew Walter and Marques Tuiasosopo have combined to complete 23 of 58 passes for 321 yards, four interceptions and two touchdowns. They have also been sacked 10 times.

Walter, who threw for the team's only touchdown in a 16-13 victory over Minnesota on Monday night, drew praise from Shell despite throwing two interceptions. He could get a shot with the first team before the preseason is over.

With Brooks on the field in the first two exhibition games, the Raiders have gained just 62 yards on 29 plays. Oakland has had only four first downs on his three drives and gotten into the end zone once. Brooks is just 2-for-9 for 28 yards with one TD and one interception.

Moss was visibly upset after going unseen while open in the end zone on the first possession. He said after the game the team did not show much improvement between the first two preseason games.

"I don't see it. Hell, no, I don't see it," Moss said. "But what we're doing as far as practice, it seems that way in practice, but when we get to the games, it doesn't seem like we're moving in the right direction."

Moss also expressed frustration about being pulled in the middle of a drive after making his first catch of the preseason in the second quarter. Shell said that his star receiver had been in long enough and said there was no need to talk to Moss about the comments.

"I made a decision to take him out," Shell said. "There was a time frame I had for him to play and that time frame had come. It was time to get him out of there."

The Raiders struggled to fully utilize Moss last season in his first year in Oakland, contributing to the decision to fire coach Norv Turner and cut Collins.

They signed Brooks to a two-year free agent deal worth more than $8 million because of the big-play ability he showed at times in New Orleans. In his first four full years as a starter, Brooks threw for more than 3,500 yards each season and had 98 touchdown passes and 61 interceptions in that span.

He struggled mightily last season, completing just 55.7 percent of his passes, throwing 17 interceptions and 13 TD passes before losing his starting job after 13 games.

The Raiders brought in Brooks to be a bridge to Walter, a third-round pick in 2005. Oakland thinks so highly of Walter that the team passed up the chance to draft Matt Leinart or Jay Cutler in April.

Walter showed signs why the Raiders believe in him with a 67-yard touchdown pass to Johnnie Morant on Monday. But he also threw the two interceptions, drawing an angry stare from his coach after one of them. Walter is 13-for-29 for 194 yards so far this preseason.

"Those two mistakes that he made are things we have to work on," Shell said. "We will first ask what did he see and we'll explain to him why he shouldn't have gone in those directions. Having said that, I thought he was much better in the pocket."

Posted by Shawn Fitzgerald at 9:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wow. And we were just talking about injuries with this guy.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2550302

Updated: Aug. 15, 2006, 1:49 PM ET
Suggs fails physical, trade to Jets voided
ESPN.com news services

HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- Running back Lee Suggs failed his physical with the New York Jets on Tuesday, voiding his trade from Cleveland.

Suggs, who has had myriad injuries throughout his four-year career, was brought in to help bolster the group of backs struggling without the injured Curtis Martin. Now he is headed back to the Browns. Cornerback Derrick Strait, who was sent to Cleveland in the deal made Monday, returns to New York.

"We have a whole series of tests that we do, and we were very thorough with the process," Jets coach Eric Mangini said. "He just didn't pass those tests. ... Each team has a criteria they set up that they believe is what's important and what's needed to be competitive. I'm very comfortable with the tests we have set up."

Despite Mangini's posturing, the voided trade is a setback for the Jets. The spin here is that Suggs was acquired to ramp up competition at the tailback spot, but clearly the Jets felt he was an upgrade over the young veterans already on the roster. Fifth-year veteran Derrick Blaylock and second-year pro Cedric Houston remain the top two tailbacks. In a conversation with ESPN.com on Monday, following the announcement of the trade, Suggs said he was looking forward to getting a fresh start with a team that seemed to need his services. He is probably no better than the No. 3 tailback on the Cleveland roster. A third-round pick in the 2004 draft, Strait has been a disappointment with the Jets, but the Browns have several injuries at the cornerback spot and needed him for depth. A former Oklahoma standout, Strait has played in 21 games in two seasons and has 43 tackles and one pass defensed.

The 33-year-old Martin, who is No. 4 on the all-time rushing list, continues to rehab and his future is in doubt. Though Martin wants to play this season, it is unclear whether he will be able to. It has been eight months since he had surgery on his knee.

Suggs hasn't been able to stay on the field for the Browns, who selected him in the fourth round of the 2003 draft. At various times in his pro career, Suggs has been sidelined by injuries to a shoulder, neck, toe, ankle and thumb.

Mangini declined to say what part of the physical Suggs failed.

"It's just standard operating procedure. You go through a trade, you have to go through the complete process," Mangini said. "This is part of the process. Lee has done a good job in Cleveland, he's a good person and that's part of the reason we pursued him. I really think the opportunity was good for both players and both teams. I wish Lee well, and I look forward to Derrick getting back here and getting to work."

Mangini also declined to give a timetable for Martin's return and said the trade had no bearing on the running back's future.

"We were looking at it as an opportunity to improve the competition at the position," Mangini said. "Our goal is to increase competition and to make our team that much more competitive and improve the team where we can."

He also didn't rule out future deals to bring in another running back.

"It's fair to assume that there could be a lot of moves," Mangini said. "The moves are going to be predicated on the opportunities, and the opportunities are going to based on whether that move can improve the team."

The speedy 6-foot, 213-pound Suggs appeared in only seven games as a rookie because of a shoulder injury he sustained at Virginia Tech. Suggs won a starting job in training camp in 2004 but hurt his neck in the final preseason game and was inactive for the first three games of the regular season. He returned to play in seven games before missing three straight with a toe injury.

Suggs hurt his ankle during the preseason last year and missed Cleveland's first two games. He dressed in Weeks 3 and 4 but injured his thumb and was inactive for six weeks.

Suggs has rushed for 1,048 yards and four TDs as a pro.

Information from The Associated Press and ESPN.com senior writer Len Pasquarelli was used in this report.

Posted by Lenny at 3:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

OK, OK, I know - last night didn't count. Still, it was a **** BAG GAME ****, albeit a pre-season one, and my Raidisssssssssss flexed their silver and black muscles. Fuck you Joey Porter, we don't need your sorry ass! None of you want to match up with our SICK QB stable of Aaron Brooks, Andrew Walter and Marques Tuiaassosssosssooosssooppooooo.

Seriously, I'll take any positivity I can latch on to, after last year's 4-12 debacle.

Oh, and welcome to the NEW GB2K6 site! Obviously, many improvements are pending.

Posted by Lenny at 5:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)