tag:forwhomthebagtolls.com,2009:/gb2k6/1 2007-08-03T18:25:21Z Movable Type Pro 4.31-en tag:forwhomthebagtolls.com,2007:/gb2k6//1.36 2007-08-03T18:08:22Z 2007-08-03T18:25:21Z

Whatever plans you had... cancel them! F - the beach, F-LI, F Upstate. Come to the LES tomorrow at 6pm and help ring in the new football season by making fun of Shawn and Lenny. Once again we're starting at...

Randie Swanberg Whatever plans you had... cancel them! F - the beach, F-LI, F Upstate. Come to the LES tomorrow at 6pm and help ring in the new football season by making fun of Shawn and Lenny. Once again we're starting at Loreley so come by and get your Brat on! LORELEY 7 Rivington Street New York, NY 10002 Cross Street: Between Bowery & Chrystie Directions: F,V to 2nd Avenue - J,M,Z to Bowery - R,W to Prince Street Saturday August 4th 6:00 PM Come laugh at us! Oh and bring a friend or two! tag:forwhomthebagtolls.com,2007:/gb2k6//1.35 2007-07-27T21:11:19Z 2007-07-27T21:13:29Z

Now you know the place! LORELEY 7 Rivington Street New York, NY 10002 Cross Street: Between Bowery & Chrystie Directions: F,V to 2nd Avenue - J,M,Z to Bowery - R,W to Prince Street Saturday August 4th 6:00 PM...

Randie Swanberg Now you know the place! LORELEY 7 Rivington Street New York, NY 10002 Cross Street: Between Bowery & Chrystie Directions: F,V to 2nd Avenue - J,M,Z to Bowery - R,W to Prince Street Saturday August 4th 6:00 PM tag:gatorglory.com,2007:/gb2k6//1.34 2007-06-28T14:10:45Z 2007-06-28T14:19:10Z

That's right. It's payoff time. Mark your calendars for the pub crawl of the Century! See! Lenny and his great Hefty Dilemma! See! Shawn the Mawg! See! Jojo and his magical Bags of Wonder!!! Saturday August 4th, 2007 Details to...

Randie Swanberg That's right. It's payoff time. Mark your calendars for the pub crawl of the Century! See! Lenny and his great Hefty Dilemma! See! Shawn the Mawg! See! Jojo and his magical Bags of Wonder!!! Saturday August 4th, 2007 Details to follow. Your Friendly Neighborhood 2 Time Reigning Champion Overlord. tag:gatorglory.com,2007:/gb2k6//1.33 2007-01-03T14:52:35Z 2008-05-30T20:05:16Z

by: Joe-Joe I don’t know where to begin. It seems like just yesterday I was parading around all the bars in Tribeca (at least the ones that would have us) on a hot summer evening with rest of the clowns....

Joe-Joe by: Joe-Joe I don’t know where to begin. It seems like just yesterday I was parading around all the bars in Tribeca (at least the ones that would have us) on a hot summer evening with rest of the clowns. With my feet securely wrapped in bags of plastic, I was inspired by visions of untold fortunes at the hands of two of the worst teams the NFL has to offer. And here it is, a full NFL regular season has played itself out and I was thisclose to being the first rookie in the history of Bagdom to win it all. I certainly won my fair share of write-ups (seven counting this one), but much like being Vice-President in a game of Asshole, being runner-up still makes you an all-out biatch. Only in the bag bet, there is no cheating your way up to President. There are no wild cards to pretend you don’t have; no hidden crevices to hide all the shitty cards that keep you fetching beers and taking verbal abuse; and there is no one drunk enough to not realize that you dealt them a bogus hand while they were watering the proverbial plants. So to my fellow bag participants: It has been an honor participating in your noble antics and I will succumb to my fate with dignity. Congratulations to Randie on successfully defending his crown. Just like the big smelly guy on the subway platform with a finger two-knuckles deep into his nostril, he knows he can pick a winner. Randie (18-14) Green Bay 26 Chicago 7 This is the game that killed me. By the time I arrived at Herr Herold’s place on New Year’s Eve, (after walking 8 extra blocks due to the closure of the 49th street subway station and talking my way past the NYPD who blocked off his street), the unthinkable had happened: the 49ers pulled out a victory in Denver, and Jeff Garcia had successfully navigated the surging Eagles past the Falcons. All I needed to take my place on the throne was for the Bears to beat the Packers! Unfortunately, the Bears weren’t playing for anything and this didn’t bode well for my prospects at bag royalty. When I saw Brett Favre smile after leading the Packers to a 16-0 lead early in the second quarter, it was as if he was smiling at me – letting me know he had read my smack talking in Week 9 and that he would unleash his revenge. Shortly after that, I stopped paying attention. Not because the game wasn’t interesting or because I gave up hope, mind you, it’s just that after a couple of speed shots off Lenny’s dazzling lazy-susan liquor contraption, the call of the twin sirens Guitar Hero and DDR were too much to resist. If there is one thing I am good at, it’s making a fool of myself, and I rarely pass up an opportunity to flaunt my fool-making ability. In any event, I am contemplating putting a Green #4 in the Wonder Bread bag that I’m going to have to wear on my hand during the payoff, in the hopes it is some kind of sacrilegious voodoo. Take note, Mr. Favre: Should you find your hand sweating profusely and reeking of limburger cheese while you are busy playing horseshoes and eating crawfish at home in the Louisiana bayou this summer, you’ll know I’m enacting my revenge. (Then again, if you are eating crawfish and playing horseshoes in the Louisiana bayou, there is a good chance your hand will be greasy and stinky anyway. Sigh.) Oakland 3 Jets 23 ***Bag Game*** Two of the worst groups of fans in the Western Hemisphere, in my opinion. I’d rather watch a taping of Rosie O’Donnell than have to listen to some of the horse-shit that comes out of the pie-holes sitting in the stands at this game. I only wish Oakland had won. I cringe at the thought of the absolute nonsense that will be spewed on the local sports shows about how “good” this Jets team is. I’m sure Fitzy will be glued to a TV come next weekend, hoping the Jets don’t land a lucky haymaker and knock the Pats out of the playoffs. Who will win? Obi Wan Belichick, or his rebel son Darth Mangini? Joe (17-15) I have to admit I didn’t watch a lot of football last Sunday; I needed to win one more game than Randie in order to be crowned Overlord, and with San Fran playing Denver and the Jets getting a guaranteed “W” against the Raiders, I didn’t have much hope. Not to mention, I spent most of the day watching a “Man vs. Wild” marathon on the Discovery channel after getting sucked in at like 10:00 A.M. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Dude…eats…live…snakes. And like every 9 year-old wishes they could, he actually killed a rabbit by throwing a stick at it. He then peeled its skin off like a glove, cooked it over a fire, and enjoyed eating its nutritious little carcass. As a result of my second place finish, I have to wear a 49ers jersey and carry a football around all night. If anyone manages to knock it from my clutches, I am to buy a shot of that person’s choosing and either drink it or give it to them. I am assuming the Overlord will make me wear the “late-write-up-penalty” Wonder Bread bag on my drinking hand. That will suck. Atlanta 17 Philly 23 The Eagles, Jets, and Saints all went from division doormat to playoff participant in one season. While the Jets can chalk part of it up to their new coach, and the Saints can chalk some up to goodwill/league shenanigans/national pity, the Eagles relied on Jeff Garcia (10 TDs 2 INTs) in winning 5 of 6 games filling in for McNabb. They’ll play the Giants in the first round (ug BOTH crappy NY teams are in the playoffs), and look to go 2-1 against the cause of more than one of Mike Francesa’s wet dreams. (Aside: I’ll bet you $100 Francesa has a poster of Derek Jeter on the ceiling above his bed.) San Francisco 26 Denver 23 I can’t talk bad about a team that goes from being the preseason consensus worst overall team to a team with enough chutzpa to knock out a playoff contender in OT and finish with a respectable 7-9 record. Frank Gore gets a game ball from me for his performance this year: 1,695 yards, 5.4 yards per carry, and 8 TDs. Shawn (14-18) To the casual observer, these were two completely meaningless games. But such is the beauty of the bag bet because to Shawn they offered a final – albeit slim – hope of keeping off the dreaded face paint. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I understand there are drinking establishments in this town that don’t turn on the A/C, even on the hottest, muggiest, wretchedly odiferous summer nights. It’s enough to make greasy, dog-poop brown face paint melt down your cheeks like so much mascara from a crying hooker – if you happen to be wearing it. Yeesh! I’m glad it’s not me! Unlike a prostitute, Shawn won’t be able to fantasize about Richard Gere sweeping him up and turning him into a legitimate woman. He’ll have to turn his tricks, pay his pimp, and take his beating. My bet is that the humiliation of the face paint - coupled with a few shots of some truly vile concoctions - will cause Angry Shawn to come out. I will have to hold my ball tightly, and use my bag/drinking hand to guard against any errant fists-to-the-nits. Carolina 31 New Orleans 21 With no playoff implications to speak of, the Saints start some scrubby 12-year NFL veteran from Weber State named Jamie Martin. While not on anyone’s fantasy football radar, I’m pretty sure this guy gets more chicks than he can handle. The combination of Drew Brees and Reggie Bush will keep the Saints out of the bag bet for years to come. Not to mention, the NFC south is a weak-ass division. Cleveland 6 Houston 14 ***Bag Game*** With no QB, RB, or WR to speak of, Cleveland will assuredly be in the bag bet for years to come. Leonard (8-24) It was a tough year for Lenny, but when one of your teams goes 2-14, there’s not a hell of a lot that can change your fortune. The fact that it is his favorite team AND he willfully drafted them only adds to the sorrow (or shadenfreud, depending on your disposition). I did hear drunken musings of him having to wear the bag on the OUTSIDE of his clothes. I recall he was a champ several years ago when he donned the face-paint and went so far as to voluntarily get a pedicure complete with matching red toe-nails. Upon seeing his painted face, some guy walking past us at Third and Long shouted out, “Go Devils!” Sporting, indeed! Cleveland 6 Houston 14 ***Bag Game*** Something tells me avoiding these teams will increase my chances to victory in 2007. Oakland 3 Jets 23 ***Bag Game*** Leo earns a merit badge for going to the game and returning in time to host a full-blown NYE party. Rumor has it that Gator Dave was seen at the game yelling incoherently to anyone that would listen about the Raiders not using their first draft pick on Brady Quinn and how the Irish tradition was hollow and without merit. Yeah, I think he fit right in. ... Well bag lovers, it's been fun hanging with you but it’s time for me to call it a season – I look forward to partying with you during the payoff. ]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.32 2006-12-27T14:58:20Z 2006-12-27T15:21:49Z

By Randie Swanberg Merry Christmas to all you christians and wanna be's (like me) and a Happy Channuka to the tribesmen. Oh yeah and Happy Kwanzaa too. I'm trying to avoid a red flag so this one's going to be...

Randie Swanberg Lenny (7-23) Someone should get make a t-shirt for Lenny that says "Raiders Let me Down" cause it's Houston's late season prowess that may keep him out of the record books. Lenny's at 7 wins now and needs one win in the final week to tie the record for fewest wins in a season held by FShawn and your truly. I personally loved the Texans' upset of the Colts. I heart Manning disappointments. Lenny has double ***BAG MATCHUPs*** this weekend as Houston has Cleveland and Oakland travels to the Meadowland to tkae on the potentially playoff bound Jets. My prediction 0-2 with new records for losses and yes, not one write up! How disparraging! Shawn (14-16) For as good as the Saints are this year, Cleveland is equally bad. I made the brilliant GM decision to pick up Derek Anderson in my other league to start the league championship game. Thanks for the 4 INTs dickhead. Now I'm playing for thrid place. Like I said before, Cleveland takes on Houston and with neither tream playing for much, this one's hard to call. The Saints take on Carolina and while Chicago has already clinched home field, the Aints need a win or a Philly loss to secure a first round bye. My prediction 1-1. Joe Joe (15-15) Same as Shawn, Philly good , San Fran bad. Philly's in the playoffs and takes on the woeful dirty Birds this weekend. San Fran plays Denver who's playing for a playoff spot so I'm penciling in an L for the niners. My prediction 1-1. We should make him wear wonder bread bag on his hands which will make carrying the football oh so interesting. Randie (16-14) Oh the green machine, how I love thee. Let me count the ways. The Jets may make the playoffs and take on the Oakland Ass Raiders. Sweet. There should be an extra prize for teams that make the playoffs. This year there may be three teams in! Green Bay is playing for pride only. They're playing Chicago who should bench all of their starters this week which could mean another 2-0 for me. Either way I'm calling at least a 1-1 to clinch back to back Overlordships. That's right, another year of darkness. I assure you I will not be as kind this year as I was last year! Next years Bag lineup is pretty much cinched. A lot of familiar faces! All GB veterans. Miami Cleveland Houston Oakland Washington Detroit Tampa Bay Arizona Until 2007. Randie RIP The Godfather of Soul. RIP The Godfather of Watergate.]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.30 2006-12-21T15:03:56Z 2007-09-29T13:51:36Z

by Joe-Joe Okay, football has taken a back seat right now, with these shitty holidays looming ahead, already creating havoc, sucking away time that I don’t have and making me participate in full-contact shopping for crap that people could totally...

Joe-Joe by Joe-Joe Okay, football has taken a back seat right now, with these shitty holidays looming ahead, already creating havoc, sucking away time that I don’t have and making me participate in full-contact shopping for crap that people could totally do without. Apparently, the people I work with failed to get the memo that says you are supposed to stop giving me work to do this time of year. Hence I have invoked the dreaded “red flag” for a late bag write up…something about having to wear a Wonder Bread bag on my arm during the payoff. We’ll see…if I’m Overlord, I’m Overlord. And Overlords don’t wear plastic, bitches!!! I have little time to regale you with funny stories. I am in an awful mood, and therefore you will see an utter lack of humor and in fact, may find content that is not in “good taste”. If you are sensitive to such tastes, please log off now and read no further. You can go to the supermarket and pick up a Reader’s Digest or something. With just two weeks to go, Randie and I are tied in standings, with Shawn in a close third. A lot of winable games for all these next two weeks, so the top three positions are up in the air. Joe-Joe 49ers 24 Seahawks 14 Perhaps the Seahawks first stringers were busy looking for the hikers on Mt. Hood? What were they thinking??? The lesson here kids: Sometimes, when you tempt fate, fate kicks your ass, punches your ticket, and laughs at you. It’s December. It’s a tall mountain in the Pacific Northwest. Inclement weather is the rule. Save your testosterone and false bravado for fantasy football and Big Buck Hunter for crying out loud. Good ol’ Chuck Darwin is snickering to himself right now…Three less people to pollute the human gene pool. Eagles 36 Giants 22 Did anyone else notice that the Eagles’ logo in the top left corner of the blog was finally changed to give the Eagles the proper respect? It had been the Seahawks logo for the longest time. I was going to say something to Lenny about it, but he was probably still mad at me for leaving Giants Stadium with 3 minutes to go in an ugly, ugly 31-13 Jets loss to the Bills in Week 14. I tried not to listen to him since the fact that his eyes were glowing red and he was saying that my lack of interest in these final 3 minutes of a Jets loss somehow translated into me being a bad Mets fan clearly indicated that his logic circuits might have been shorted by a flask of Knob Creek (or two). I got my revenge when I watched him walk past me in the bus line 20 minutes later, as he tried to call me. Real fans wait in line, sucker!!! Anyway, I’m glad he’s got his birds straight at least. Shawn Browns 17 Ravens 27 Shawn loses!!! Shawn had a rough Sunday. But I will give a shout out to the bartender at Copper Door Tavern (3rd b/w 21 and 22). We all got our $25 worth and then some. Shawn for example, got a case of “angry shouting man lunacy” along with a case of “delayed-onset hot wing projectile vomiting syndrome” (full disclosure – he admitted to grabbing McBrudal’s on the way to Penn Station). Crane, on the other hand, contracted full-blown “I want to see what this one-legged knee-jerk dance is all about-itis". After three hops, he was apparently unable to release his ankle from his grip, lost his balance, and landed face first into the bar, knocking over his beer and shocking himself into a flicker of sobriety just long enough for the bartender to ever-so-gently announce, “You’re friend is cut-off”. Shortly thereafter, he tried to make off with every last person’s coat in the bar, before realizing he didn’t bring one. Shawn and Crane both earn gold-stars. Redskins 16 Saints 10 Oh! Shawn loses again!!! He falls to third place. How nice it would be to see his face painted doo-doo brown with a white racing stripe down the middle!!! “Hi, I’m Paint-Facer Shawn, would you care to have your picture taken with me for my internet site?” Randie Jets 26 Vikings 3 Lions 9 Packers 17 Team Green wins a pair for Randie, who joined us at some point on Sunday when the accuracy of my internal clock was somewhat questionable. But he was there. He also was at the Jets-Bills game, and unlike Lenny, left to catch the bus back to Port Authority at a reasonable time (as opposed to when the game clock was at zero and the line to the bus was 2 miles long). J-E-T-S Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! Lenny Rams 20 Raiders 0 Texans 7 Patriots 40 Lenny begged off on Sunday…and should be shamed. I know he has earned his stripes – indeed he has gold stars from Montreal and Las Vegas – and more often than not, he is the last man standing, but his excuse of having a hangover reeks of amateur league. His teams were outscored 60-7…which is amazing. I guarantee he won’t touch either of these teams next year…if he can help it. They are like the guys on the mountain…people are waiting for them to show up, but really no one expects it. I hope you have a great Christmas, or that you are having a happy Hanukkah…whatever the case, try not to eliminate yourself from the gene pool. ]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.29 2006-12-19T02:14:32Z 2006-12-19T02:20:44Z

Joe wins the write-up this week on points. We've got a real dogfight on our hands in the battle for the Overlord spot. I've clinched the bag, amid no fanfare and even less suspense. The only thing that remains for...

Lenny http://gatorglory.com Joe wins the write-up this week on points. We've got a real dogfight on our hands in the battle for the Overlord spot. I've clinched the bag, amid no fanfare and even less suspense. The only thing that remains for me to hope for is one, just one single write-up for this season. Oh, and I'd also like to avoid setting the record for losses in a season... not that there's much chance of avoiding that at this point. Hey, at least my college team is good. tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.28 2006-12-12T15:13:10Z 2006-12-12T15:25:43Z

By F. Shawn Fitzgerald Welcome Bag Fans! Well this last week was a happy hour free zone, so I’m sad to report that I have no shenanigans from the usual suspects to fall back on this week…so, I’ll have to...

Shawn Fitzgerald By F. Shawn Fitzgerald Welcome Bag Fans! Well this last week was a happy hour free zone, so I’m sad to report that I have no shenanigans from the usual suspects to fall back on this week…so, I’ll have to reminisce on my youthful memories from holidays past. There was the one big gift every year that you wanted as a kid. It ranged from bicycles to baseball gloves, board games to legos, and GI Joe to Transformers. However all things changed in October of 1977 when Atari 2600 was released and kids everywhere lost their collective shit. The age of gaming had begun and none of us would be the same… I recall fondly the Christmas that I received Atari 2600. My Aunt and Uncle were down and as I opened the wrapping on the box, I had a vague idea of what this machine was supposed to do. My uncle and I hooked it up to the little portable TV with the UHF and VHF connections and got down to some serious Pong. The pathetic paddles were difficult to hold and far too touchy for a 6 year old to operate. I moved on to “COMBAT!” where I could conduct field operations as a Tank, a Bi-plane, 3 Bi-planes, a Bomber, a fighter, 3 fighters, and a bunch of other bizarre crap. I thoroughly enjoyed the 3 planes spinning when they were hit. The basic graphics entranced me and I was drooling in no time. As we all know, Atari raised us to some extent and we all rejoiced with each new game; Asteroids, Defender, Pitfall, and of course the Pac-Man mania that grabbed us all. I made my Mom drive me to an Apex in Pawtucket just to get my hands on it (I think it was $50 back in 1980…crazy money) only to get home and see the lame sound effects and graphics. Mass disappointment swept over us. We all went on to have several other systems and had different paths through all of the competition, but we were all spawned from Atari. I had: Colecovision: The least ergonomic controllers of all time; 13 buttons, of which only 2 were used, and 1 joy stick. They did have the foresight to create an adapter that let you play Atari 2600 games. I believe this was one of the reasons I got this. That and the fact that Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. were so fucking awesome! Nintendo: This is where everyone’s path met once again. Wherever you went after Atari, everyone came back together for the original NES. Super Mario Brothers ruled the wasteland that was our brains. The controller now had 2 buttons that were both used and a keypad instead of a joystick. Huge innovation. Techmo Bowl may never be surpassed for it’s popularity. Also the first system that I recall getting fucked up and playing. Good times. I also remember being grounded and Playing Super Mario 2 while listening to Physical Graffiti on repeat for hours. Playstation: I skipped over the whole Sega thing and landed right in the thick of the CD revolution. Ray-Man entranced me and nothing in college could be compared to an all afternoon “session” of brightly colored lights and giggling in a smoke filled room. Playstation2: I ended up at the PS2, where some split off and picked up the Xbox. They both have their merits, but neither completely dominates. I relish the fact that I still find it humorous to drink a 40 and play a plastic guitar with friends before a night on the town. As PS3 is released, I ask you all to reflect on the blisters from “Track & Field”, your parents walking in front of the TV at a critical moment, the first time you threw the controller in disgust and were POSITIVE the computer was cheating, the “condom” coming off of the controller to expose a white nylon stick, blowing the dust out of cartridges, and starting every game from the beginning because you couldn’t save it. I took the week on points as Randie, Joe-Joe and I all split our games. Sadly, Herr Leonard went 0-fer again this week. I maintain a 1 game lead in GB2K6. Since the inception of this bet, it has never been this close this late in the season. With 3 weeks to play, Lenny has yet to win a write up. This will be a record if the streak continues all season. Lenny has not broken my GB2K5 season low of 8 total wins. He has 6 wins, with 6 games to play. Houston has NE, Indy, and Cleveland left. Oakland has STL, KC, and the NY Jets. He might be able to eek out 2 wins to achieve the tie…then again, he might not. Die with your plastic on Lenny! On to the games! Joe-Joe Philadelphia Eagles 21 vs. Washington Redskins 19 Joe-Joe watches uneasily as his bag team defeats his favorite team. He is torn. He feels sick. He doesn’t know what to do…until the Chevy commercial comes on and he remembers that this is “Our Country”. He smiles, thinks about guns, republicans, and beer, and everything is okay again. From the East Coast to the west coast, to the Dixie Highway back home, this is our Country! San Francisco 49ers 13 vs. Green Bay Packers 31 ****BAG GAME*** Alex Smith and Co fall short. The NFC West is cluttered at the bottom. They hope to finish out of the cellar. They are sad. Barry Bonds coming back to the Giants doesn’t help their mood. The city pukes in unison. Shawn New Orleans Saints 42 vs. Dallas Cowboys 17 The Saints drop the People’s elbow on Dallas. Parcells scurries around on the sidelines like Capt. Lou Albano. Reggie Bush struts around the field like the Junkyard Dog. Drew Brees kisses his biceps like Hulk Hogan and bathes in his own greatness. He knows the Saints are for real. Cleveland Browns 7 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers 27 In a similar display of stupidity and bad luck the Browns have secured their spot in GB2K7 as well. The Brownies have been in the bet every year but one. I don’t think the likes of Derek Anderson are here to lead them to the promised land. Romeo is still looking for his Juliet on offense. Randie New York Jets 13 vs. Buffalo Bills 31 ****BAG GAME*** With Tom Brady languising in his own depression in Miami and the Pats taking a 21-0 loss, the Jizzettes had destiny intheir hands. With a win they would be in contention for the AFC East and almost surely cement themselves as a Wild Card team. Intead of jumping at this opportunity, they wandered around the field like the 4 of us would at 3am on a Saturday night; directionless and incoherent. Mangini went home and stabbed his Bellichick voodoo doll 5 extra times. Green Bay Packers 31 vs. San Francisco 49ers 13 ****BAG GAME*** Favre smiles as he walks from the field. He knows that there is no way that the Pack will be back in GB2K7. Matt Millen and his incompetence have assured the Detroit Lions of yet another appearance. Under his watch, the Lions have gone 23-70. Um, how the fuck does he still have a job? Herr Leonard Herold Houston Texans 20 vs. Tennessee Titans 26 Vince Young comes back to his home town and pimp slaps the Texans. So, not only did the Texans pass on Reggie Bush (who is enfuego right now) they also passed on Vince. His TD run in overtime put an extra turn on the knife and sent the brass running for cover. Oakland Raiders 10 vs. Cincinnati Bengals 27 Are the Raiders worth talking about? No. Cincinnati looks great right now. They could run the table like the Steelers did last season. I want to hear more out of Ocho Cinco, but I think he’s waiting on the big games…Oakland isn’t even worth getting excited about.]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.27 2006-12-05T16:23:33Z 2006-12-05T16:40:34Z

By F. Shawn Fitzgerald Welcome Bag Fans! This week saw Julie and I bid adieu to Astoria. After 10 years suckling at the teat of NYC, I have escaped the small Asian women waiting to elbow me in the kidneys...

Shawn Fitzgerald Philadelphia Eagles 27 vs. Carolina Panthers 24 I enjoyed the Philly faithful booing Jeff Garcia as he got up from the second big hit of the game. Who knew that AJ Feely was such a cheese steak celebrity? What are they choosing between, a guy with splinters in his ass or an accused homosexual that came back to win the game? Nothing like Feeley making a career on 4 games where he filled in against no one and got the team to the playoffs. Then again a 3rd string QB with more than 5 years has to make a ton more than league minimum. League minimum is a shitload more than I make. Pretty good for a guy that couldn’t talk himself out of a wet paper bag…ugh. I just depressed myself, let’s just move on. San Francisco 49ers 10 vs. New Orleans Saints 34 ****BAG GAME*** With the coming out party for Reggie Bush, the 49ers never had a chance. Maybe they could bring Montana, Rice, and Clark back like Sly is resurrecting Rocky Balboa. The 6th installment of the Rocky series is due out shortly. Any movie where the first training montage includes the phrase "you've got calcium deposits in most of your joints so sparring is out!" has got to be good! Take heed 49ers, you can go back to the well! Shawn San Francisco 49ers 10 vs. New Orleans Saints 34 ****BAG GAME*** Reggie Bush finally opened up a can of whoop-ass and exploded for 4 touchdowns. Saints fans and fantasy owners alike have been waiting for this like the tabloids have salivated over a panty-less Britney Spears partying with Paris Hilton. It’s a party that everyone can enjoy. The Saints continue their improbable march to a division title and lead me to the top of the garbage heap. Cleveland Browns 31 vs. Kansas City Chiefs 28 Herm Edwards incompetence came bubbling to the surface this weekend as the Chiefs lost to a no name backup quarterback and a hapless conglomeration of nobodies. With his bad decision making and even worse luck, he should avoid Club Kaluha at all cost this week. I just got a call from Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, the Bloods and the Crips. Apparently that last line was completely uncalled for. At least I didn’t ask him to rap to get out of the loss. Randie New York Jets 38 vs. Green Bay Packers 10 ****BAG GAME*** Chad came out and did his best Joe Namath impression, albeit without trying to make out with Suzy Kolber. I love how liquored up Namath is in this video. Favre and his mates were systematically dismantled by the Jets. As bad as he must feel, I’m sure Vanderjagt was on suicide watch after Gramatica kicked the winning FG for the Cowboys this week. At least Favre has the never ending unconditional love of John Madden; Vanderslap is just a “boozed up kicker” from Canada. Too bad, eh? Herr Leonard Herold Houston Texans 23 vs. Oakland Raiders 14 ****BAG GAME*** Since this game isn’t worth discussing, I will take the opportunity to congratulate Lenny on the Gator victory in Atlanta and the subsequent bid to the BCS title game in AZ. I’m sure young Leonard was in full Florida glory and there was much joy at every drinking establishment that he stumbled into after the game. Good luck getting flights and tickets! ]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.26 2006-11-29T07:32:24Z 2006-11-29T07:36:40Z

by Randie Swanberg Happy thanksgiving everyone. Welcome back to the real world. I'm sitting here on a Tuesday night eating chocolate pudding. We're back to a three way tie for first place! Yeah can you feel the excitement? Anyone? hello?...

Randie Swanberg by Randie Swanberg Happy thanksgiving everyone. Welcome back to the real world. I'm sitting here on a Tuesday night eating chocolate pudding. We're back to a three way tie for first place! Yeah can you feel the excitement? Anyone? hello? Anyone listening? I wonder, you know sometimes. Whether you're there? Are we that boring? Shawn (10-12)

New Orleans 31, Atlanta 13

What's happening to the dirty birds? They're skidding so bad they're leaving really long delicious trails of chocolate pudding all up and down I-75. The ball is bouncing N'Awlins way this year and they're putting up a shitload of points. It's ultimate battle weekend as Mecha-GodShawna takes on MegaloJoe in the Superdome as San Francisco comes to town. Big game.

Cincinnati 30, Cleveland 0

How do you take your bagel? With Lox? A schmear perhaps? Toasted? As I may have said in my former years, Cleveland is the null set. It isn't one, it isn't zero, it's the absence of value. Good luck with LJ this weekend with your 25th ranked rush defense.

Lenny (5-17)

Houston 11, NY Jets 26

Four bag teams have more wins than Lenny's two combined.

Oakland 14, San Diego 21

The defense is good but man, 3 catches for Moss? How is no one talking about this? Lenny plays himself this week and he's hoping it's a high scoring affair that would lock up a write up :) Hey it's a W either way.


Joe (10-12)

San Francisco 17, St. Louis 20

This is why they play the games. Who would have thought that San Francisco and Philly would have identical records in week 12? That JJ would be putting his hopes in Alex Smith and not McNabb.

Philadelphia 21, Indianapolis 45

I guess we know who the starter in Indy will be for the rest of the year. Not sure how Philly will fare the rest of the way. They really looked like shit on Sunday. Sloppy sloppy play. Sloppy like chococlate pudding on a hot day. They've got Carolina on Monday night.


Randie (10-12)

Houston 11, NY Jets 26

I'm really glad the Jets aren't as shitty as everyone thought they would be this year.

Green Bay 24, Seattle 34

Looked good in the beginning. Not so good at the end. Alexander is back. Nice return on that first rounder. He's played what, two full games? It's me vs. me in Lambeau.

Until next time.

Later. R


peoples poll: How many of you think I use too many commas? Cast your vote.

*It is not the opinion of the writer that New Jersey is a bad place to live. I have many friends and coworkers who live there and have visited the Garden State many times.

**FTOYNITK - For those of you not in the know.

***All fun poked at the great state of Oregon is done solely for the purposes of comedy. It in no way a slight on the state itself or it's people. Oregon was admitted to the union on February 14, 1859.

]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.25 2006-11-21T20:00:03Z 2007-09-29T13:52:49Z

by Joe-Joe Week 11 has been completed and the bag teams were at their worst; The lone ‘49ers win this week propelled me into first. 16 points, 13 points, how few points can they get? How ‘bout a wheel of...

Joe-Joe by Joe-Joe Week 11 has been completed and the bag teams were at their worst; The lone ‘49ers win this week propelled me into first. 16 points, 13 points, how few points can they get? How ‘bout a wheel of cheese for the Packers, and a bagel for the Jets?!?! The Browns, the Texans, the Raiders, things are normal here. Like a pair of tight jeans on a heavyset girl, they’re bringing up the rear. McNabb? McInjured! Brett Farve? Damaged elbow! But seeing Cleveland collapse once again, had me laughing like Tickle-Me-Elmo. Drew Brees he throws for 500 yards and still the Saints they lose. Is it time to get a head start on Mardi Gras and soak his troubles in booze? Three write-ups in a row for me, man this feels fantastic! Much better than Leo will, I’m sure, when he’s bar-crawling in the plastic. I’m sorry for the lack of references to this year’s theme, Iron Maidon. I must have been breakin’ to Run DMC while you all were worshiping Satan. [Sorry for the short write-up...you can look at the sidebars for records and results...]]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.24 2006-11-20T14:25:00Z 2006-11-20T15:12:15Z

San Francisco's 20-14 victory over the Seahawks stopped what would have been an unprecedented O - for bag weekend for us all. I'm pretty sure this has never happened in my career and I'm too lazy to go back and...

Randie Swanberg San Francisco's 20-14 victory over the Seahawks stopped what would have been an unprecedented O - for bag weekend for us all. I'm pretty sure this has never happened in my career and I'm too lazy to go back and look at the previous seasons' results. It's a shame because I was going to petition for a rule that whenever all our bag teams go O fer, then whoever's teams allowed the most combined points on said weekend has to streak at least 3 blocks on the night of the payoff or something befitting the standards of this league. Pittsburgh did their job vs. The Browns but Seattle doesn't get this blog. Oh well, one can only wish. So it's Turkey with Joe Joe. Wanker wanker (that's gobble gobble in wendler) tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.23 2006-11-14T21:03:26Z 2008-05-18T23:18:47Z

by: Joe-Joe Back before I rooted for my fantasy football team (aka Bendler's Wankers), I used to like an NFL team of the traditional variety...and that team was the Washington Redskins. Alas, last year’s playoff anomaly not withstanding, they have...

Joe-Joe by: Joe-Joe Back before I rooted for my fantasy football team (aka Bendler's Wankers), I used to like an NFL team of the traditional variety...and that team was the Washington Redskins. Alas, last year’s playoff anomaly not withstanding, they have spent the past decade basically just wasting time and space. Wherefore art thou Joe Theismann, Russ Grimm, John Riggins, Darrel Green, Ernest Byner, Art Monk and the rest of “the posse”? I remember when I started liking them: it was in late 1982 and it was during their playoff run that eventually had them spanking the Dolphins in the Super Bowl. They were my third attempt at liking a team. (Keep in mind this was back before network television decided everyone in the tri-state area had to watch Jets and Giants games to the exclusion of all others every week). My first attempt came on Thanksgiving in 1979. Knowing nothing about the game, the only thing that was apparent was that the Cowboys were America’s Team…everyone wanted them to win: the announcers; my cousins and uncles; and of course, the sponsors. But what fun was that? Even at the age of 5, my anti-bandwagon tendencies emerged and I rooted for the opposing team. Who was that team, you ask? The Houston Oilers. They ended up winning the game, but not my heart because after that brief introduction, they quickly fell off the radar. Back in the pre-cable days, you were about as likely to see an Oilers game on TV as you are to find a Colin All Cocks column on this blog. My second attempt came sometime in 1981, and was rooted in the fact that after purchasing six packs of NFL trading cards, I had an inordinate amount of players who played for the Patriots. Ugh. Quite frankly, the logo simultaneously bored and annoyed me. Like, “Hey angry guy dressed in old clothes! You’d be more scary if you were menacing me with a gun and not a three point stance!” Not to mention, to have a human as a mascot didn’t have nearly as much appeal as an inanimate object (say like, an oil derrick?) But at the time, I had two theories as to why I should be a Patriots fan: (1) It must have been fate to get such a vast majority of Patriots cards (2) Given the quantity of statistics on the backs of the cards relative to all the other NFL teams, I knew the most about those players. Alas, I remember quizzing my father about the statistics on the cards during dinner one night, and when he seemed more puzzled than impressed, I asked him, “Are the Patriots a good team?” “They’re not one of the better teams” he replied, “not like the Steelers or Cowboys”. And so the story was written. I spent the next couple of years in limbo, searching for a respectable team with which I could identify. When the Skins showed up, I knew my train had arrived. [As an aside, I didn’t realize until now that the Patriots new logo is called the “Flying Elvis” . The likeness is uncanny; the decision, perplexing.] I’m not sure of the total points scored/TD status this week, but I won the write up by virtue of scoring more points than Randie, who also went 2-0. Hence, there is a three-way tie for first, and Leonard faces a serious uphill battle if he has any intention of avoiding a custom-fitted Low Density Polyethylene undergarment. Joe-Joe (9-9) Redskins 3 Eagles 27 Dan Snyder does not strike me as a loser. It must pain him that his vast fortune cannot buy him NFL mediocrity. I will save my sympathy for more charitable causes. That hook-n-lateral Brown-to-Buckhalter score was stupendous, but the Eagles are as streaky as an eight-year-old’s underoos right about now. It will be interesting to see what will happen now that the offensive coordinator will be doing the play-calling. They play Tennessee next week, who have only managed to beat Houston and the Skins thus far this season. 49ers 19 Lions 13 The Lions looked in the crowd, surveying the 30,000 recently laid off auto-workers, and wondered how they can help ease their troubled minds. Their solution was in losing to a bag team, thereby reassuring the Detroit faithful that they won’t be missing anything when they relocate to do the same menial job at a Toyota factory in Tennessee. Shawn (9-9) New Orleans 31 Pittsburgh 38 If the Steelers were a publicly traded company, I would buy stock in them right now. As a matter of fact, I did in a way by picking up Rothlsiberger as a free agent QB in my fantasy league. They are hungry and have weapons at every position. Cleveland 17 Atlanta 13 I just now realized that even with this loss, Atlanta is 5-4. That is about 3 games more than I thought they won. But they spent the past two weeks losing to Detroit and Cleveland. Shame on Michael Vick. Cleveland should have lost this game. What were they thinking??? Randie (9-9) Green Bay 23 Minnesota 17 Unfortunately, there is no picture of Favre getting Bonked by a surprise snap this week. That picture was the best! The Packers are 4-5 right now, and the way the NFC is looking, they have as good as a shot as anyone at being a wild card team. I wouldn’t mind seeing them battle it out against the slumping Patriots next week. Perhaps its time for a little tea party…a big game for both teams! Jets 17 New England 14 I’m not big on any historical drama aspect of football, but if ever there was a good storyline, it would be the fact that the Patriot’s coach is so bitter about his “protégé” leaving to take the Jets gig. Duh. What man with a pair of rocks says, “Oh, yeah, I’m ready to be a head coach, but I wouldn’t want to upset you by leaving, so I’ll just kick around here helping out with the laundry.” SUCK IT UP BELICHECK! Be a professional for crying out loud. You pull someone up, you set them free. But this game was huge, with the Jets now just 1 game behind the AFC East leading Pats. Lenny (5-13) Denver 17 Oakland 13 I guess it’s getting old writing about how awful Oakland is, so I will write about some sort of smack talk montage I watched, where a bunch of players were saying how former Bronco Shannon Sharpe looked like a horse. I believe the parties included Dieon Sanders, and maybe Keyshawn Johnson, but I’m not sure. It was pretty hysterical, but I can’t find it. Part of me thinks I must have dreamt this, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Let me know if you happen to come across it. Houston 13 Jacksonville 10 Stat: The Texans are 6-4 overall against Jacksonville, yet have a total of 15 wins against the rest of the league. They host fellow 3-6 squad Buffalo next week, who will be itching to release the pent up frustrations of losing to the Colts by 1. That is all for this week - please join me tomorrow for my birthday celebration if you are in town... ]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.22 2006-11-07T18:24:09Z 2007-09-29T13:53:54Z

by Joe-Joe It started out innocently enough: I, like millions of other people over the age of 21, would spend a Sunday afternoon drinking in a bar, paying homage to the deities responsible for inventing ginormous flatscreen televisions and dish...

Joe-Joe by Joe-Joe It started out innocently enough: I, like millions of other people over the age of 21, would spend a Sunday afternoon drinking in a bar, paying homage to the deities responsible for inventing ginormous flatscreen televisions and dish networks that make simultaneous viewing of every NFL game a reality. The destination: The Liberty Bar, in Hoboken, NJ. The bar was my temple; the jersey clad patrons, my fellow parishioners. Brightly lit, flickering TV screens surrounded me on all sides, warming me like stained glass mosaics of the last supper. I found my way to our table in the back corner of the bar and prepared myself to receive the hallowed evangelism of Father Brown, Reverend Collensworth and Rabbi Enberg. The waitress filled up my glass with fresh beer whenever it got less than half full, no doubt an angel sent from above. Or so I thought. Fast-forward 14 hours. It is 3:00 AM Monday morning. I am in bed, outside the covers, fully clothed. It feels like my head is being squeezed by a giant garlic press and my mouth tastes like I have been gnawing on used tires. I try to remember the preceding events that led me to my miserable state, but it’s like I only have 25 pieces to a 500-piece puzzle. My TV is on, and blaring talking heads are very excitedly analyzing football games that concluded 10 hours ago. Think...think...think! Ug. Ouch. Ug. I remember being elated that my fantasy team finally busted out of the doldrums. I remember eating 8 peculiar tasting chicken wings and some stray nachos. I remember waiting for a bus, returning to the bar, and being heckled by Mueller, Leonard & Co. And finally I remember the stout little pitchers of poison and the temptress who relentlessly dispensed it. My angel was a devil in disguise! As I type this at 6:30 Monday evening, I am still feeling the effects of the Hangover of 2006, having called out of work (thank god for Personal Time Off), my entire day spent re-hydrating and keeping the giant garlic press at bay. Funny how the Anheuser-Busch ad execs always paint a rosier picture. But something tells me if their commercials showed some shlub walking around his apartment with bags under his eyes and his head dunked into a Brita water pitcher all day, rather than a bunch of hot girls prancing around ready to disrobe after you take "one more sip", I'm sure their profits would plummet. Joe-Joe (8-9) It's crazy that I won the write up on the basis of 3 field goals. But I was undefeated this week nonetheless! San Francisco 9, Vikings 3 Like all of the afternoon games, I don’t have the slightest recollection of this game – although I’m pretty sure the King from Burger King caught a deep one for the Vikings. There must have been a holding penalty on the Hamburglar because apparently the officials wiped out the touchdown. Eagles (Bye) The most potent 4-4 team had some time to prune their feathers in preparation for a battle with the Redskins. We all need a PTO day once in a while. Yawn (9-9) I call Shawn "Yawn" this week for his conspicuous absence at all events of the social variety, most notably, Sunday. I'd like a note from your employer. New Orleans 31, Tampa Bay 14 New Orleans continues to look like a real franchise. They bring their Cajun voodoo to the Iron City next week against the inversely puzzling Steelers team, who are playing as though they want to participate in GB2K7. I'm certain Bill Cowher's wife is wearing extra make-up and over-sized sunglasses these days. Cleveland 25, San Diego 32 In the world of fantasy studs, if LT is like Secretariat, then Rouben Droughns is like a My Little Pony. After leading at halftime, the Browns were looking to win their first back-to-back game in three seasons! Alas, all 54 players simultaneously shit themselves at halftime and resolved not to upset the natural order of the football universe. The Browns travel to Hotlanta to play the Dirty Birds next week. Lenny (4-14) Oh Lenny!!!! You thought you were distancing yourself from the bag, only to have it sneak up on you like a monster in a horror movie. You've locked all the windows and doors, wedged a wooden table under the doorknob...and are sitting back trying to catch your breath. Meanwhile, the garbage bag is inches away from the base of your neck, cloaked in the cover of darkness, savoring your ignorance in the fact that it can take you out at any second. Unfortunately for you, you don't have any weapons to defeat it. Houston 10, Giants 14 I remember the most about this game, (a) because it was at 1:00 and (b) because the sound was on. The angst in the bar was palpable with Houston leading heading into the fourth quarter. Between drinks of swill, beefy men in too-tight royal blue jerseys could be heard commiserating about Tiki’s inability to find the endzone and Shockey’s dropped TD pass. I took time for some internal reflection, hoping to determine why it is that I can’t stand the Giants as a franchise. Ultimately I was not able to reach any conclusions. Does anyone else just not like the Giants organization? Is it because they have been boring for the past 10 years and don’t have any sideshow problems? Tell me your thoughts. Raiders 0, Seahawks 16 I realize that being on the West Coast is favorable for Monday Night Football, but someone at ESPN should be fired for putting the Raiders on twice this year. Randie (7-10) Randie slips to third place after going 0-1 this week. And let me let you in on a little secret: If there's one thing that scares me more than spending the night collecting my own juices in a garbage bag, it's face painting. Anyone will tell you I've done a lot of stupid things in public, but for some reason, the thought of doing them with face paint is enough to induce an anxiety attack. Bufflao 24, Green Bay 10 Is it just me, or shouldn’t this game have taken place later in the year, when the odds for a complete blizzard were favorable? But this picture and caption pretty much says it all. The Packers play host to their Arctic Viking neighbors next week, who are led by the aforementioned King. Jets (Bye) I’m not sure what Gang Green worked on during their bye week, but I’m pretty sure it won’t work and Indy will clinch the AFC East. The travel up I-95 next week to lose to New England. That's it for this week...remember to drink responsibly and to vote for the middle class. And don't forget to wish Dr. Horner a very Happy Birthday! ]]> tag:gatorglory.com,2006:/gb2k6//1.21 2006-11-01T05:40:46Z 2006-11-01T06:16:36Z

by Randie Swanberg Ah Halloween. I love Halloween. I wish every day could be like Halloween. I was just on the UES and there was like a million munchkins running about like FShawn hopped up on skittles, parents chasing after...

Randie Swanberg by Randie Swanberg Ah Halloween. I love Halloween. I wish every day could be like Halloween. I was just on the UES and there was like a million munchkins running about like FShawn hopped up on skittles, parents chasing after them. There was a block party on 78th street! It was all really cute and it made me reminisce: I'd almost forgotten what it was like in the burbs this time of year. I don't know about your neighborhood, but mine was a war zone. At first we weren't even allowed out. It was back in the 70s that the rumors started up about pshychos putting razor blades and needles and poison in your chocolate bars. Parents weren't having it. They finally let us out on our own, but when you're really little you're easy pickings. Either get hosed by the middle schoolers with shaving cream or they just jack your bag o' candy. At this point, the high schoolers pay you no mind. After the first couple of years you learn to get out a bit earlier so you can get to the task at hand which was, of course, scoring bagloads of sweets. ]]> Happy Samhaim! So it's pretty much half way through the season and it's tighter than a duck's anus. Shawn and I have 7 wins but he has a game in the loss column. Wanker is one game back and Sven has climbed out of the cellar with some big Raider wins in the past two weeks. Let's turn the clock back a year. This time last year Shawn was 3-9, I was 8-4, Lenny was 4-8 and Colin was 6-6. So Lenny's in the same spot Shawn was at half way through last year and we all knew how it turned out for him. Lenny, Shawn and I went 1-1 this weekend but they each lose the write up this week by two points. Sorry again Len. Maybe you should take over the Colin All Cocks column and put it to some use. Randie of the Redwoods Arizona 14, Green Bay 31 Seems like since Denny demoted Warner, the Cards can't win. Leinart is 0-4 as a starter. Those poor Cards, they love the bag. Like Briana loves the cock, they miss being here. Good news on the Favre front, he scored his first rushing TD in five years. I heard that they're putting step ladders along the sidelines of Lambeau Field and officially changing the name from the Lambeau Leap to the Lambeau Two Step. This week they have Buffalo coming off a bye buy by week. New York Jets 13, Cleveland 20 Fucking bullshit! I've never seen a clearer example of the force out rule. Would not have landed in bounds? Judgement call? In a league where instant replay has seemingly undermined all the authority officials thought they had, they still manage to fuck up the simplest things in their charge. The Jets can lick their wounds this week on a bye. Lenny, only has One Ball Houston 22, Tennessee 28 Loser Bowl 2006. To all you Fantasy dipshits who picked up Carr, how'd that negative day work out for you? It especially sucks when you fall behind on points, then get benched, erasing any potential of breaking even with yardage. It's the Gmen this weekend so don't expect Tiki to get the ball inside the 5. Fucking Brandon Jacobs. Pittsburgh 13, Oakland 20 Hooray for Oakland! Whoo hoo. The battle of the 2-5s. Hey whatever. Big showing on D. Whether it's Pittsburgh playing like ass or the Raiders starting to put something together, the fact remains they've single handedly given LL Cool H some W respectability in GB2K6. I'll be tuning in this weekend as they go to a banged up and very beatable Seattle. Shawn Leibowitz New York Jets 13, Cleveland 20 Mark my words, this botched call will make a difference down the stretch. It's my own fault, I already penciled this in as a win. I'll never underestimate the shittains again. Tough road ahead for the Brown eyes, they've got games at San Diego then Atlanta. Baltimore 35, New Orleans 22 I guess this game wasn't important enough to make it onto the GB2K6 scoreboard. Lot's of turnovers for Bushy and Breezy who seemed upset over the lightness of last months envelope hush money. Hopefully the gov will get the zeros right before they travel to Tampa this weekend. No-Mo-Joe Jacksonville 13, Philadelphia 6 Ok so Jax is one of my fantasy defenses and I can never seem to pick the right week to start them. They blow up the Jets for 26 points, get blown out by the Texans and give me nada so you'd think they'd be a no no against the top passing offense in the league? Whatever. That's three straight for the Iggles. Joe Joe's entire season is riding on their success so they better get their feathers in a row. Hopefully they haven't shot their entire offensive wad and can recharge a bit this week on the bye. San Francisco 10, Chicago 41 Just like the loser bowl, some weeks we get a bitch slap du jour. Or in this case, bitch slap du half. Yeah this thing was over early. We saw a clear vision of the range of competition available in the NFL this year. I'm sure the Niners were like, why are we playing these guys? Shouldn't we be in JV? It's hard to imagine Chicago as a bag team last year with no offense to speak of. I'm calling out a Dolphins upset of Chicago in week 10. You heard it here first. Too bad it's not on Monday Night. It's the Purple People Eaters next on the schedule for the 49ers, then at Detroit. Happy Halloween 2006. RanDIE ]]>