by Randie Swanberg

Happy thanksgiving everyone. Welcome back to the real world. I'm sitting here on a Tuesday night eating chocolate pudding. We're back to a three way tie for first place! Yeah can you feel the excitement? Anyone? hello? Anyone listening? I wonder, you know sometimes. Whether you're there? Are we that boring?

I thought Joe's been money under pressure lately and Shawn's sketched out turbulent skittles on a plane out of Buffalo of some fucking place had me on the edge of my seat! I thought about laying down some smack, you know, stir the pot a little bit. Then I thought about the reality of calling out my bag mates. I can't make fun of Shawn for his pyromaniacal compulsions or for moving to New Jersey* (I hope you have a fuck ton of fire insurance for that bitch). I can't make fun of Lenny because, well for the obvious but mostly because he's on the verge of not only breaking the lowest win total record but perhaps set a new standard in bagdom by going the entire season without a write up. If I knew Wendler a little better I could come up with something juicier than shooting dogs or being a republican, but no it's completely pointless. Shawn likes to burn things, Lenny has poor football judgement and Joe like to run naked through the woods with an american flag tied around his neck like superman and kill small animals with a double barreled shotgun. These are very obvious qualities we all have and it's these qualities that we all accept in each other. How can you talk smack about an idiosyncrasy? So I'm calling out YOU baglovers. Yeah. Look at the standings bitches! This is BAG history. Every game counts. There are three bag match-ups this weekend. Shit you almost made me drop my pudding.

So I went to Oregon for thanksgiving. Yeah it was my first trip to the emerald of the pacific northwest. FTOYNITK** Lily went to high school out there so we decided to spend the long weekend catching up with her homies in Eugene. Fortunately for me, Thanksgiving weekend is the time for the Oregon vs. Oregon State game, referred to as, The Civil War. This game is over a hundred years old. I didn't know Oregon's been a state that long. I don't think it was a state when the actual Civil War occurred. If it was a state it certainly had nothing to do with the actual Civil War.*** I was invited to party with her friends at the game and it was done in a style that I know will be appreciated by all of our readers. Here's the insiders look on what a day trip to Corvalis consists of: 9:00AM Friday morning I boarded a Fern Ridge School District Bus (heretofore to be known as, "Drunk Bus") with only a fifth of Makers for the day. I figured it would be enough. Sammy has his own fifth and Lily had one of Goldschlager (heretofore to be known as "The Schlag") and I was told there would be plenty of various other types of booze.This was the fourteenth consecutive time the "Drunk Bus" has journeyed to Corvalis and I was honored to be a part of history. Before our organizers would allow Debbie, our driver, to debark, a bottle of Sauza was produced with the instructions that the bus would not leave until the bottle was drained. Yeah Sauza at 9:00 am. Lily and I looked at each other and all I could think of is how proud Lenny and Nettie would be of us. So 27 people piled on the bus in Eugene heading towards Corvalis and the Civil War yet there was one thing sticking curiously in my mind like think chocolate pudding. Should I be a Duck or a Beaver? Fourteen fifths, 3 pee breaks and an hour and fifteen minutes later 27 people literally fell out of the "Drunk Bus" in a parking lot in downtown Corvalis. We walked over to the Peacock for beer, shots, pool, buck hunter and $6 steak and eggs. You know what a $6 steak tastes like? Well it ain't chocolate pudding I can tell you that much. Durp! I totally forgot the fucking rain? All it does there in November is rain. Just rain all day long and all night long. So just to give you the complete picture, think 40 degrees with a steady downpour nonstop with only intermittent breaks. People wear camo and hunter-safe bright orange rain gear as everyday clothes. Perfect football weather. Ok let speed it up. Went inside the stadium which is smaller than the Bronx at 45K. Looks like a modern version of Doak Cambell Stadium which is like putting a new coat of paint on a '74 Mustang II. The game was everything you wanted in a Civil War. Lots of fumbles and interceptions and lead changes and scoring! Not a lot of defense which is odd for a rain game. The Beavers ended up winning the game 30-28 by virtue of a 45 yard blocked field goal with 20 seconds left. I walked back to the bus along many dejected and very wet Ducks. Then in our infinite wisdom we decided that we're not drunk enough so we downed the rest of "The Schlag" whilst side stepping many belly bombs unloaded all over the bus seats. After stopping off in Monroe, OR for some post-game cocktails and nearly blacking out, we decided to call it a night. It was 7:00 pm. Many thanks to the Morrises, Sammy and all the rest of you out west. I had a fucking blast. I heart the "Drunk Bus".

Shawn (10-12)



New Orleans 31, Atlanta 13



What's happening to the dirty birds? They're skidding so bad they're leaving really long delicious trails of chocolate pudding all up and down I-75. The ball is bouncing N'Awlins way this year and they're putting up a shitload of points. It's ultimate battle weekend as Mecha-GodShawna takes on MegaloJoe in the Superdome as San Francisco comes to town. Big game.



Cincinnati 30, Cleveland 0



How do you take your bagel? With Lox? A schmear perhaps? Toasted? As I may have said in my former years, Cleveland is the null set. It isn't one, it isn't zero, it's the absence of value. Good luck with LJ this weekend with your 25th ranked rush defense.



Lenny (5-17)



Houston 11, NY Jets 26



Four bag teams have more wins than Lenny's two combined.



Oakland 14, San Diego 21



The defense is good but man, 3 catches for Moss? How is no one talking about this? Lenny plays himself this week and he's hoping it's a high scoring affair that would lock up a write up :) Hey it's a W either way.





Joe (10-12)



San Francisco 17, St. Louis 20



This is why they play the games. Who would have thought that San Francisco and Philly would have identical records in week 12? That JJ would be putting his hopes in Alex Smith and not McNabb.



Philadelphia 21, Indianapolis 45



I guess we know who the starter in Indy will be for the rest of the year. Not sure how Philly will fare the rest of the way. They really looked like shit on Sunday. Sloppy sloppy play. Sloppy like chococlate pudding on a hot day. They've got Carolina on Monday night.





Randie (10-12)



Houston 11, NY Jets 26



I'm really glad the Jets aren't as shitty as everyone thought they would be this year.



Green Bay 24, Seattle 34



Looked good in the beginning. Not so good at the end. Alexander is back. Nice return on that first rounder. He's played what, two full games? It's me vs. me in Lambeau.



Until next time.



Later. R






peoples poll: How many of you think I use too many commas? Cast your vote.



*It is not the opinion of the writer that New Jersey is a bad place to live. I have many friends and coworkers who live there and have visited the Garden State many times.



**FTOYNITK - For those of you not in the know.



***All fun poked at the great state of Oregon is done solely for the purposes of comedy. It in no way a slight on the state itself or it's people. Oregon was admitted to the union on February 14, 1859.

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 2:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

by Joe-Joe

Week 11 has been completed
and the bag teams were at their worst;
The lone ‘49ers win this week
propelled me into first.

16 points, 13 points,
how few points can they get?
How ‘bout a wheel of cheese for the Packers,
and a bagel for the Jets?!?!

The Browns, the Texans, the Raiders,
things are normal here.
Like a pair of tight jeans on a heavyset girl,
they’re bringing up the rear.

McNabb? McInjured!
Brett Farve? Damaged elbow!
But seeing Cleveland collapse once again,
had me laughing like Tickle-Me-Elmo.

Drew Brees he throws for 500 yards
and still the Saints they lose.
Is it time to get a head start on Mardi Gras
and soak his troubles in booze?

Three write-ups in a row for me,
man this feels fantastic!
Much better than Leo will, I’m sure,
when he’s bar-crawling in the plastic.

I’m sorry for the lack of references
to this year’s theme, Iron Maidon.
I must have been breakin’ to Run DMC
while you all were worshiping Satan.

[Sorry for the short write-up...you can look at the sidebars for records and results...]

Posted by Joe-Joe at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

San Francisco's 20-14 victory over the Seahawks stopped what would have been an unprecedented O - for bag weekend for us all. I'm pretty sure this has never happened in my career and I'm too lazy to go back and look at the previous seasons' results. It's a shame because I was going to petition for a rule that whenever all our bag teams go O fer, then whoever's teams allowed the most combined points on said weekend has to streak at least 3 blocks on the night of the payoff or something befitting the standards of this league. Pittsburgh did their job vs. The Browns but Seattle doesn't get this blog. Oh well, one can only wish. So it's Turkey with Joe Joe. Wanker wanker (that's gobble gobble in wendler)

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

by: Joe-Joe

Back before I rooted for my fantasy football team (aka Bendler's Wankers), I used to like an NFL team of the traditional variety...and that team was the Washington Redskins. Alas, last year’s playoff anomaly not withstanding, they have spent the past decade basically just wasting time and space. Wherefore art thou Joe Theismann, Russ Grimm, John Riggins, Darrel Green, Ernest Byner, Art Monk and the rest of “the posse”?

I remember when I started liking them: it was in late 1982 and it was during their playoff run that eventually had them spanking the Dolphins in the Super Bowl. They were my third attempt at liking a team. (Keep in mind this was back before network television decided everyone in the tri-state area had to watch Jets and Giants games to the exclusion of all others every week).

My first attempt came on Thanksgiving in 1979. Knowing nothing about the game, the only thing that was apparent was that the Cowboys were America’s Team…everyone wanted them to win: the announcers; my cousins and uncles; and of course, the sponsors. But what fun was that? Even at the age of 5, my anti-bandwagon tendencies emerged and I rooted for the opposing team. Who was that team, you ask? The Houston Oilers. They ended up winning the game, but not my heart because after that brief introduction, they quickly fell off the radar. Back in the pre-cable days, you were about as likely to see an Oilers game on TV as you are to find a Colin All Cocks column on this blog.

My second attempt came sometime in 1981, and was rooted in the fact that after purchasing six packs of NFL trading cards, I had an inordinate amount of players who played for the Patriots. Ugh. Quite frankly, the logo simultaneously bored and annoyed me. Like, “Hey angry guy dressed in old clothes! You’d be more scary if you were menacing me with a gun and not a three point stance!” Not to mention, to have a human as a mascot didn’t have nearly as much appeal as an inanimate object (say like, an oil derrick?) But at the time, I had two theories as to why I should be a Patriots fan:

(1) It must have been fate to get such a vast majority of Patriots cards
(2) Given the quantity of statistics on the backs of the cards relative to all the other NFL teams, I knew the most about those players.

Alas, I remember quizzing my father about the statistics on the cards during dinner one night, and when he seemed more puzzled than impressed, I asked him, “Are the Patriots a good team?” “They’re not one of the better teams” he replied, “not like the Steelers or Cowboys”. And so the story was written. I spent the next couple of years in limbo, searching for a respectable team with which I could identify. When the Skins showed up, I knew my train had arrived.

[As an aside, I didn’t realize until now that the Patriots new logo is called the “Flying Elvis” . The likeness is uncanny; the decision, perplexing.]

I’m not sure of the total points scored/TD status this week, but I won the write up by virtue of scoring more points than Randie, who also went 2-0. Hence, there is a three-way tie for first, and Leonard faces a serious uphill battle if he has any intention of avoiding a custom-fitted Low Density Polyethylene undergarment.

Joe-Joe (9-9)

Redskins 3 Eagles 27

Dan Snyder does not strike me as a loser. It must pain him that his vast fortune cannot buy him NFL mediocrity. I will save my sympathy for more charitable causes.

That hook-n-lateral Brown-to-Buckhalter score was stupendous, but the Eagles are as streaky as an eight-year-old’s underoos right about now. It will be interesting to see what will happen now that the offensive coordinator will be doing the play-calling. They play Tennessee next week, who have only managed to beat Houston and the Skins thus far this season.

49ers 19 Lions 13

The Lions looked in the crowd, surveying the 30,000 recently laid off auto-workers, and wondered how they can help ease their troubled minds. Their solution was in losing to a bag team, thereby reassuring the Detroit faithful that they won’t be missing anything when they relocate to do the same menial job at a Toyota factory in Tennessee.

Shawn (9-9)

New Orleans 31 Pittsburgh 38

If the Steelers were a publicly traded company, I would buy stock in them right now. As a matter of fact, I did in a way by picking up Rothlsiberger as a free agent QB in my fantasy league. They are hungry and have weapons at every position.

Cleveland 17 Atlanta 13

I just now realized that even with this loss, Atlanta is 5-4. That is about 3 games more than I thought they won. But they spent the past two weeks losing to Detroit and Cleveland. Shame on Michael Vick. Cleveland should have lost this game. What were they thinking???

Randie (9-9)

Green Bay 23 Minnesota 17

Unfortunately, there is no picture of Favre getting Bonked by a surprise snap this week. That picture was the best! The Packers are 4-5 right now, and the way the NFC is looking, they have as good as a shot as anyone at being a wild card team. I wouldn’t mind seeing them battle it out against the slumping Patriots next week. Perhaps its time for a little tea party…a big game for both teams!

Jets 17 New England 14

I’m not big on any historical drama aspect of football, but if ever there was a good storyline, it would be the fact that the Patriot’s coach is so bitter about his “protégé” leaving to take the Jets gig. Duh. What man with a pair of rocks says, “Oh, yeah, I’m ready to be a head coach, but I wouldn’t want to upset you by leaving, so I’ll just kick around here helping out with the laundry.” SUCK IT UP BELICHECK! Be a professional for crying out loud. You pull someone up, you set them free. But this game was huge, with the Jets now just 1 game behind the AFC East leading Pats.

Lenny (5-13)

Denver 17 Oakland 13

I guess it’s getting old writing about how awful Oakland is, so I will write about some sort of smack talk montage I watched, where a bunch of players were saying how former Bronco Shannon Sharpe looked like a horse. I believe the parties included Dieon Sanders, and maybe Keyshawn Johnson, but I’m not sure. It was pretty hysterical, but I can’t find it. Part of me thinks I must have dreamt this, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Let me know if you happen to come across it.

Houston 13 Jacksonville 10

Stat: The Texans are 6-4 overall against Jacksonville, yet have a total of 15 wins against the rest of the league. They host fellow 3-6 squad Buffalo next week, who will be itching to release the pent up frustrations of losing to the Colts by 1.

That is all for this week - please join me tomorrow for my birthday celebration if you are in town...

Posted by Joe-Joe at 4:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

by Joe-Joe

It started out innocently enough: I, like millions of other people over the age of 21, would spend a Sunday afternoon drinking in a bar, paying homage to the deities responsible for inventing ginormous flatscreen televisions and dish networks that make simultaneous viewing of every NFL game a reality. The destination: The Liberty Bar, in Hoboken, NJ.

The bar was my temple; the jersey clad patrons, my fellow parishioners. Brightly lit, flickering TV screens surrounded me on all sides, warming me like stained glass mosaics of the last supper. I found my way to our table in the back corner of the bar and prepared myself to receive the hallowed evangelism of Father Brown, Reverend Collensworth and Rabbi Enberg. The waitress filled up my glass with fresh beer whenever it got less than half full, no doubt an angel sent from above.

Or so I thought.

Fast-forward 14 hours. It is 3:00 AM Monday morning. I am in bed, outside the covers, fully clothed. It feels like my head is being squeezed by a giant garlic press and my mouth tastes like I have been gnawing on used tires. I try to remember the preceding events that led me to my miserable state, but it’s like I only have 25 pieces to a 500-piece puzzle. My TV is on, and blaring talking heads are very excitedly analyzing football games that concluded 10 hours ago.

Think...think...think! Ug. Ouch. Ug. I remember being elated that my fantasy team finally busted out of the doldrums. I remember eating 8 peculiar tasting chicken wings and some stray nachos. I remember waiting for a bus, returning to the bar, and being heckled by Mueller, Leonard & Co. And finally I remember the stout little pitchers of poison and the temptress who relentlessly dispensed it. My angel was a devil in disguise!

As I type this at 6:30 Monday evening, I am still feeling the effects of the Hangover of 2006, having called out of work (thank god for Personal Time Off), my entire day spent re-hydrating and keeping the giant garlic press at bay. Funny how the Anheuser-Busch ad execs always paint a rosier picture. But something tells me if their commercials showed some shlub walking around his apartment with bags under his eyes and his head dunked into a Brita water pitcher all day, rather than a bunch of hot girls prancing around ready to disrobe after you take "one more sip", I'm sure their profits would plummet.

Joe-Joe (8-9)

It's crazy that I won the write up on the basis of 3 field goals. But I was undefeated this week nonetheless!

San Francisco 9, Vikings 3

Like all of the afternoon games, I don’t have the slightest recollection of this game – although I’m pretty sure the King from Burger King caught a deep one for the Vikings. There must have been a holding penalty on the Hamburglar because apparently the officials wiped out the touchdown.

Eagles (Bye)

The most potent 4-4 team had some time to prune their feathers in preparation for a battle with the Redskins. We all need a PTO day once in a while.

Yawn (9-9)

I call Shawn "Yawn" this week for his conspicuous absence at all events of the social variety, most notably, Sunday. I'd like a note from your employer.

New Orleans 31, Tampa Bay 14

New Orleans continues to look like a real franchise. They bring their Cajun voodoo to the Iron City next week against the inversely puzzling Steelers team, who are playing as though they want to participate in GB2K7. I'm certain Bill Cowher's wife is wearing extra make-up and over-sized sunglasses these days.

Cleveland 25, San Diego 32

In the world of fantasy studs, if LT is like Secretariat, then Rouben Droughns is like a My Little Pony. After leading at halftime, the Browns were looking to win their first back-to-back game in three seasons! Alas, all 54 players simultaneously shit themselves at halftime and resolved not to upset the natural order of the football universe. The Browns travel to Hotlanta to play the Dirty Birds next week.

Lenny (4-14)

Oh Lenny!!!! You thought you were distancing yourself from the bag, only to have it sneak up on you like a monster in a horror movie. You've locked all the windows and doors, wedged a wooden table under the doorknob...and are sitting back trying to catch your breath. Meanwhile, the garbage bag is inches away from the base of your neck, cloaked in the cover of darkness, savoring your ignorance in the fact that it can take you out at any second. Unfortunately for you, you don't have any weapons to defeat it.

Houston 10, Giants 14

I remember the most about this game, (a) because it was at 1:00 and (b) because the sound was on. The angst in the bar was palpable with Houston leading heading into the fourth quarter. Between drinks of swill, beefy men in too-tight royal blue jerseys could be heard commiserating about Tiki’s inability to find the endzone and Shockey’s dropped TD pass. I took time for some internal reflection, hoping to determine why it is that I can’t stand the Giants as a franchise. Ultimately I was not able to reach any conclusions. Does anyone else just not like the Giants organization? Is it because they have been boring for the past 10 years and don’t have any sideshow problems? Tell me your thoughts.

Raiders 0, Seahawks 16

I realize that being on the West Coast is favorable for Monday Night Football, but someone at ESPN should be fired for putting the Raiders on twice this year.

Randie (7-10)

Randie slips to third place after going 0-1 this week. And let me let you in on a little secret: If there's one thing that scares me more than spending the night collecting my own juices in a garbage bag, it's face painting. Anyone will tell you I've done a lot of stupid things in public, but for some reason, the thought of doing them with face paint is enough to induce an anxiety attack.

Bufflao 24, Green Bay 10

Is it just me, or shouldn’t this game have taken place later in the year, when the odds for a complete blizzard were favorable? But this picture and caption pretty much says it all. The Packers play host to their Arctic Viking neighbors next week, who are led by the aforementioned King.

Jets (Bye)

I’m not sure what Gang Green worked on during their bye week, but I’m pretty sure it won’t work and Indy will clinch the AFC East. The travel up I-95 next week to lose to New England.

That's it for this week...remember to drink responsibly and to vote for the middle class. And don't forget to wish Dr. Horner a very Happy Birthday!

Posted by Joe-Joe at 1:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

by Randie Swanberg

Ah Halloween. I love Halloween. I wish every day could be like Halloween. I was just on the UES and there was like a million munchkins running about like FShawn hopped up on skittles, parents chasing after them. There was a block party on 78th street! It was all really cute and it made me reminisce: I'd almost forgotten what it was like in the burbs this time of year. I don't know about your neighborhood, but mine was a war zone. At first we weren't even allowed out. It was back in the 70s that the rumors started up about pshychos putting razor blades and needles and poison in your chocolate bars. Parents weren't having it. They finally let us out on our own, but when you're really little you're easy pickings. Either get hosed by the middle schoolers with shaving cream or they just jack your bag o' candy. At this point, the high schoolers pay you no mind. After the first couple of years you learn to get out a bit earlier so you can get to the task at hand which was, of course, scoring bagloads of sweets.

Slowly, you become one of them, but now you live in fear of the high school kids. You don't care about candy as much as the feeling of wanting to really fuck with someone. So you do it, carefully. You're just starting to stretch your parent's staying out late limits. You start off with a couple of easy pranks. Normally kids stick with what they know. You have your first experience buying shaving cream by the case without raising the eyebrow of the local Winn-Dixie store manager. You learn to modify the barbasol tab sprayer with a pin and a lighter so it sprays farther. They cops begin to be a problem. After a couple of years of pillaging anyone younger than you, the little ones get boring and candy is completely off the menu. The girls are out now and if you're real whiskey tango, you've found a way to score some booze. Eggs and toilet paper have been added to your arsenal. Does anyone know what it's like to ride down the street on your MCS Spider with four dozen eggs teetering across you handle bars? Unfortunately you're perilously close to the high school kids now. They only way to survive an encounter is if you or someone close to you has an older brother or sister (not as good) who can allay the assault. You might escape after some light, yet necessary brutality. But you will walk away which is certainly better than laying in the swail, crying in a pool of blood, yolks and egg shells. If you've made it this far, you are now in High School. The beer begins to flow in earnest and even though your interests have expanded, the need for destruction takes the utmost precedence. The pranks are now capers, consisting of intricate plans, causing the utmost damage. An array of materials come into play. Now, most importantly, you've left the BMX in the garage. You are now in a car which means you can go to other towns to perform your mischief. You now appreciate the feeling of satisfaction achieved just from fucking with people. It's senior year and nothin stands in your way. You spend the early part of the evening doing damage then everyone meets up at some abandoned parking lot (or Lenny and Marcia's house) late in the evening to share stories and use up the rest of the supplies on each other while consuming the most recent caper's reward: two cases of coors light, a case of corona and a case of Seagram's Wild Berry Coolers (for the ladies, of course) that you jacked from that same asshole Winn-Dixie manager who used to give you shit for sucking all the C02 out of the Reddi whip cans.

I only wish that somewhere in this country tonight, someone gets egged or their house gets toilet papered. I can't do it anymore, I'd get arrested.

Happy Samhaim!

So it's pretty much half way through the season and it's tighter than a duck's anus. Shawn and I have 7 wins but he has a game in the loss column. Wanker is one game back and Sven has climbed out of the cellar with some big Raider wins in the past two weeks. Let's turn the clock back a year. This time last year Shawn was 3-9, I was 8-4, Lenny was 4-8 and Colin was 6-6. So Lenny's in the same spot Shawn was at half way through last year and we all knew how it turned out for him. Lenny, Shawn and I went 1-1 this weekend but they each lose the write up this week by two points. Sorry again Len. Maybe you should take over the Colin All Cocks column and put it to some use.

Randie of the Redwoods

Arizona 14, Green Bay 31

Seems like since Denny demoted Warner, the Cards can't win. Leinart is 0-4 as a starter. Those poor Cards, they love the bag. Like Briana loves the cock, they miss being here. Good news on the Favre front, he scored his first rushing TD in five years. I heard that they're putting step ladders along the sidelines of Lambeau Field and officially changing the name from the Lambeau Leap to the Lambeau Two Step. This week they have Buffalo coming off a bye buy by week.

New York Jets 13, Cleveland 20

Fucking bullshit! I've never seen a clearer example of the force out rule. Would not have landed in bounds? Judgement call? In a league where instant replay has seemingly undermined all the authority officials thought they had, they still manage to fuck up the simplest things in their charge. The Jets can lick their wounds this week on a bye.

Lenny, only has One Ball

Houston 22, Tennessee 28

Loser Bowl 2006. To all you Fantasy dipshits who picked up Carr, how'd that negative day work out for you? It especially sucks when you fall behind on points, then get benched, erasing any potential of breaking even with yardage. It's the Gmen this weekend so don't expect Tiki to get the ball inside the 5. Fucking Brandon Jacobs.

Pittsburgh 13, Oakland 20

Hooray for Oakland! Whoo hoo. The battle of the 2-5s. Hey whatever. Big showing on D. Whether it's Pittsburgh playing like ass or the Raiders starting to put something together, the fact remains they've single handedly given LL Cool H some W respectability in GB2K6. I'll be tuning in this weekend as they go to a banged up and very beatable Seattle.

Shawn Leibowitz

New York Jets 13, Cleveland 20
Mark my words, this botched call will make a difference down the stretch. It's my own fault, I already penciled this in as a win. I'll never underestimate the shittains again. Tough road ahead for the Brown eyes, they've got games at San Diego then Atlanta.

Baltimore 35, New Orleans 22

I guess this game wasn't important enough to make it onto the GB2K6 scoreboard. Lot's of turnovers for Bushy and Breezy who seemed upset over the lightness of last months envelope hush money. Hopefully the gov will get the zeros right before they travel to Tampa this weekend.

No-Mo-Joe

Jacksonville 13, Philadelphia 6

Ok so Jax is one of my fantasy defenses and I can never seem to pick the right week to start them. They blow up the Jets for 26 points, get blown out by the Texans and give me nada so you'd think they'd be a no no against the top passing offense in the league? Whatever. That's three straight for the Iggles. Joe Joe's entire season is riding on their success so they better get their feathers in a row. Hopefully they haven't shot their entire offensive wad and can recharge a bit this week on the bye.

San Francisco 10, Chicago 41

Just like the loser bowl, some weeks we get a bitch slap du jour. Or in this case, bitch slap du half. Yeah this thing was over early. We saw a clear vision of the range of competition available in the NFL this year. I'm sure the Niners were like, why are we playing these guys? Shouldn't we be in JV? It's hard to imagine Chicago as a bag team last year with no offense to speak of. I'm calling out a Dolphins upset of Chicago in week 10. You heard it here first. Too bad it's not on Monday Night. It's the Purple People Eaters next on the schedule for the 49ers, then at Detroit.

Happy Halloween 2006.

RanDIE

Posted by Randie Swanberg at 12:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)