Week 16
by Randie Swanberg
Bam bam bam bam bam da da da da da da da.
When we last spoke, I wasn't yet the official Overlord of 2005. Well now I am so hooray for me. Shawn's got until next summer to enjoy his reign. Then it all goes down the toilet.
By "Senior" Lenny "Herr" Herold
It seems like the draft was only yesterday... so much hope, so much excitement. Yet here we are, closing in on season's end, and I find myself striving towards one last ray of light, a single goal that remains attainable.
The Bag -- or specifically, fear of it -- is all I have left. Think about what I'm confessing to you, faithful reader. I'm telling you, our supporter through thick and thin, that my quest to avoid repeating as Pacefainter is more imporant to me than anything right now. Fantasy football? Over. "A Committment to Excellence"? At this point, I sure as hell hope not. "Dolfan Lenny"? Let's not get carried away.
by Randie Swanberg
Or should I say WEAK 13? "Weak" as in the weak ass overlord competition this year. Oh sure the bag race is exciting, only 4 wins separate Jersey Boy from Bag Boy, but this makes it two years in a row that the top spot's been a runaway. Now I didn't do it like Shawn's fluke ass Supercharges last year, no my teams did it with hard nose old school Defense.
As the curtain closes on November, the finish line is in sight for the NFL as well as for your faithful plastic-, face paint- and jersey-clad jesters. Only five weeks remain in what has been an often shocking and generally depressing season of personal strife and pain for me, and to be honest I'll be happy when it's over... but For Whom the Bag Tolls is still a long way from being decided.
by Randie Swanberg
All I can say is HOLY CRAP! I already penciled in 0-2 for me this weekend but great holy crap on a stick my teams actually pulled it off. The Bucs have finally found some good offense with Simms Jr. and put up 30 spot on a really good Atlanta D in Hotlanta! Again I was sure Tampa would not get another win after Simm's first couple of starts.
by Randie Swwanberg
.....after further review, the call on the field stands. The 2 point conversion is good!
RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH as the crowd goes wild. Gruden has balls the size of casaba melons. That's two weeks in a row a coach has had the nuts to allow his team to get themselves a win in the final seconds. Now after further review, I didn't think Alstott made it but WHATEVER MAN! Grrr I'm loving my bag teams. Every dog has his day and after three years my picks have finally paid off. I distinctly remember at last season's payoff a collective hint of elation echoing out of my fellow bag-mates after I selected Tampa Bay with my first pick. Colin says to me, "why the hell did you take Tampa?" and I was like, "uh, I think Tennessee is going to really suck." Well, my bag team is better than your bag team, my bag team is better than your bag team, nah nah nah nah nah suck it!
Continue reading "Why I love week 10 / Why I suck at Write Ups" »
by Colin Fitzgerald
Week 9 belonged to me. Although I did get a half assed write
up in earlier in the year, this is my first true victory. Let me take this
opportunity to bring everyone up to speed on life in
By: Shawn Fitzgerald
Yes, much like MJ, I only need to say 2 words:
"I'm back."
But it may not be for long. Oakland and San Fran are just too problematic to expect my ascension to continue to the overlord position. I am holding out hope that I can escape the bag. We will see my friends, we will see.
So many write ups, so little time. I want to start off this week's installment by properly ripping Vinny and the Jets. Vinny, you are horrible. And Herm, what the fuck goes on in that dense cranium of yours? I mean, how is this guy still the head coach? I can't recall anything intelligent every coming out of that moron's mouth. In fact, the only thing he's good at is saying dumb shit in press conferences. Oh here's one:
By Lenny Herold
Finally! For reasons that shall remain unspoken, it is now TRULY football season. F baseball, F hockey, and F summertime... I'm ready for some barbeques, bourbon, and games where it's so cold you need gloves to drink your beer. Seriously, all football games should be played in the snow. What's better than seeing five 300+ pound O-linemen, snorting steam in unison like a team of stallions? Okay, OTHER than winning the lottery or spending a weekend as Heff's "special guest" at the Playboy mansion, ya fuckin' perv!
By Colin Fitzgerald
So since this is a week late it will be short and sweet, keep an eye out for Lenny's week 5 write up coming soon. Basically, they gave me the write up because I had the most points in a single and 3 of us had a bye. Whatever, I am in big trouble with the GBL authority. My humble apologies to all of the fans of the Bag.
The first month of the NFL season sucks. Gimme a second to explain before you get all Dirty Harry on me.
By Randie Swanberg
I was sitting in a bar in Toronto last sunday and watching the 4:00 games. I was drinking "The Great Taste of Canada in a Bottle," LaBatt's Blue which tastes like a combination of shit in a tin can and shit. But it's everywhere. I felt like a toothless ex-hockey player recruited by a couple of loser 30 somethings who live with their parents. They were trying to over throw the Evil Brewmaster but needed my help battling a couple of stormtrooper clad psychotic hockey teams, okay. I felt a little weird, like they spiked my beer! Really, okay? All I wanted was to sit and have a beer ay? And then I was like, whoa in the movie it was Elsinore Beer and not Labatt's and that the drug probably wasn't a mind control drug but my Rogers Centre malaise. You see Lily and I went to the Yankees games there this weekend and there's some shit that goes on there in Canadia that we just couldn't believe. The crowd of 30,000ish was so fucking quiet you could hear a mouse fart. I mean nada, zilch, not a peep, we could whisper to each other easily. There were a couple of losers in front of us who were sort of cheering. We started making fun of them when no one else in the stadium would jump in with them and the girl stands up and asks if we would help them start the wave? Start the wave? It was the 8th in a 2 run game with runners in scoring position and you want to start the god forsaken wave? Listen I'm sorry I'm a bit stuck on the wave thing but...but that's baseball and I must digress...
By: F. ShawnFitzgerald
Da-Da-Da-DAAAAH, Da-Da-Da-DAAAAH, Da-Da-Da-DA! DA! DA!
Ahoy me friends! Welcome to another wonderful year on the high seas of the Garbage Bag bet. The slate has been wiped clean for this new season. We are all trying to claw our way out of the bag. Who will be the last man tearing uselessly at the plastic with his finger nails while he slowly runs out of oxygen? Only time will tell. Let's just say this first week was an eye opener in the NFL...